


The Musical: The Series: The Fanfic: The Substitute Teacher

by Caidan



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: (but a small one), (in later scenes), Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Bisexual Disaster Ricky Bowen (HSMTMTS), Bisexual Ricky Bowen (HSMTMTS), Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Gay E.J. Caswell, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:07:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27308926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caidan/pseuds/Caidan
Summary: Ricky Bowen, now a senior, is a little shocked to learn that Miss Jenn had to leave school for a while and won't be the drama teacher for the new school musical. A new young substitute teacher takes her places. If only he wasn't so hot...EJ Caswell just graduated and will fill in as the new drama teacher at East High. His idea for the performance? Dear Evan Hansen! He really wants to proof himself and do well as a teacher. If only one of his students wasn't so cute...In this au Ricky is a senior and doesn't know EJ, who is a little older (22/23).
Relationships: Big Red/Ashlyn Caswell, Ricky Bowen/E.J. Caswell
Comments: 39
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

“Have you heard?” Big Red asked as he sat down at their usual table in the cafeteria.  
“Heard what?” Ricky asked as he looked up from his meal.  
“About the new drama teacher?”  
Ricky looked at Big Red with a shocked expression.  
“What about Miss Jenn?”  
“Well, I don’t think she is gone for real, she just had to get away for a while, nobody knows why. But in the meantime, the school hired a substitute teacher. According to Nini he’s really hot.”

Ricky had to think this over for a second. It was only the second day of school, but the new drama announcement would already be tomorrow. He had expected Miss Jenn to be there and he was really looking forward to auditioning for the new musical, he had really enjoyed High School Musical last year and couldn’t wait to figure out what the new musical would be. Last year, he had joined the musical to get Nini back, in which he had succeeded by the way, but this year he would join for himself. He and Nini had broken up a couple of months later anyway, both of them deciding they worked better together as friends. 

“Well, this is shocking. I was really looking forward to the new musical, I hope this new dude knows what he’s doing.”  
“Apparently, he’s still very young, only just graduated.”  
“Oh boy, I’m going to miss Miss Jenn, aren’t I?”  
Big Red smiled at Ricky and patted his shoulder.  
“Just wait and see, maybe he’s alright.”

The next day, all the students got together in the gym for the assembly. Principal Gutierrez stood behind the microphone and waited until everyone was seated. Ricky sat down next to Nini, who, of course, was sitting next to Kourtney.  
“Hi”, he greeted her.  
“Hey”, she said with a smile on her face.  
Big Red wanted to sit down next to Ricky, but changed his mind when he saw Ashlyn waving at him from the row behind. Meanwhile Principal Gutierrez started going over the general announcements, but Ricky wasn’t paying attention at all.  
“So, are you excited about the new musical this year”, he asked Nini.  
She nodded her head a couple of times, clearly full of excitement.  
“Yes, I saw the new drama teacher yesterday, I hope he picked a good musical.”  
“I heard you thought he was hot”, Ricky teased her.  
Nini blushed a little.  
“Well, uhm, he kinda is? You’ll see”, she laughed and wiggled her eyebrows at him. 

Ever since Ricky had come out as bisexual, Nini would not stop teasing him about it. In a good way, she reacted very well when he told her, but now she found way too much joy in talking about boys with him. Ricky was absolutely fine with talking about boys, but, you know, he still liked girls as well. Plus, sometimes he found it awkward to talk about boys with his ex-girlfriend.  
“And lastly, this year we have a new drama teacher since Miss Jenn will be gone for an unspecified amount of time. May I introduce you to Mister Caswell.”  
A young man stood up from the first row, Ricky had not seen him sitting there before and now he wondered how he could have missed him. Nini bumped her elbow into his ribs, but Ricky ignored her, because fuck, she was right, he was hot.  
“Told you”, Nini whispered in his ear after she noticed his red face.  
“Shut up”, he mumbled.  
“Oh my god, EJ”, they heard Ashlyn exclaim behind them.  
Ricky, Nini and Kourtney looked at her in surprise and with matching questioning looks on their faces.  
“That’s my cousin EJ, I had no idea he was doing this, I can’t believe he didn’t tell me”, Ashlyn was glaring daggers at her cousin who was now introducing himself behind the mike. 

Ricky missed about half of the introduction since he was too busy staring. I couldn’t be appropriate to be this attracted to his teacher, right? Even if he couldn’t be that much older than him.  
“How old is he, he looks very young”, he asked Ashlyn.  
“He’s 22 now, turning 23 next month”, she responded. 

“Now I’m really looking forward to working with you guys on this year’s musical. I’ve thought long and hard about this one, but I’m proud to tell you that this semester we will be performing Dear Evan Hansen!”, Mister Caswell exclaimed.  
He was met with a loud round of applause. Most students knew the musical and were a big fan.  
“Oh my god”, Ricky heard Nini say beside him and he could only admit that he shared her sentiment.  
He was fairly new to musical theater, but even he knew and loved the show. Unlike Miss Jenn, at least their new teacher had seen it.  
“I’ll hang up sheets to sign up right after assembly, you have until the end of classes tomorrow to sign up. The auditions will be on Friday! I hope to see many of your faces there.”  
Mister Caswell went back to his seat under a loud round of applause. 

“I’m definitely auditioning”, Nini exclaimed to Ricky.  
“We’re literally at the signing paper, you’ve literally just written your name on it, Nini, I know you are”, Ricky responded.  
Nini smiled sheepishly.  
“Are you?”, she asked as she tried to hand him her pencil.  
“Yeah, I guess, I’m just not sure which part”, Ricky answered, taking the pencil from her.  
“You’d probably be great in any part”, Nini said, smiling at him as he wrote down his name.  
“Thanks, you too.”  
Ricky handed Nini back her pencil and turned around.  
“Guess I’ll see you!”, he said as he started walking. 

They didn’t literally collide, but Ricky felt two strong hands on his shoulders in order to stop him from actually running into someone else.  
“Ease there.”  
Ricky looked up and turned red.  
“Uhm… I’m… I’m sorry, Mister Caswell”, he stammered.  
“That’s okay, uhm…”  
“Ricky. Ricky Bowen.”  
“Right. That’s okay, Ricky, just, watch where you’re going next time, yeah?”  
“Yeah”, Ricky said a little bit ashamed.  
Mister Caswell took his hands of his shoulders, just now realizing they were still there and stepped away. Then he walked around Ricky and took the paper off the wall.  
“Ah, guess I’ll be seeing you Friday, Ricky”, he said after he looked at the page.  
“Uhm, yeah, I guess”, Ricky laughed shyly, not sure how to react.  
“And you’re Nini?”, Mister Caswell asked her.  
She nodded her head.  
“Well, I guess I’ll see you Friday as well then. Good luck to you both”, he said before he put the piece of paper in his backpack and walking away.  
Ricky stared after him until Nini broke his attention by hitting his arm. Ricky looked at her indignantly.  
“Auwtsch?”  
“Don’t you need to be somewhere?”  
“Probably”, Ricky mumbled.  
He took another second to regain his posture, before he turned away from Nini again and started walking. He wasn’t embarrassed at all, not in the slightest, no way.

“How come you didn’t tell me?!”, Ashlyn asked angrily as soon as EJ opened the door.  
“Hello to you too, Ash.”  
Ashlyn pushed him aside and walked into his appartement.  
“Come in, why don’t you”, EJ mumbled.  
“I’m already inside, thanks”, Ashlyn shouted at him.  
EJ rolled his eyes while closing the door. In the kitchen he sat down on the counter and watched how Ashlyn was going through his fridge.  
“Can I get something to drink?”, she asked.  
“Help yourself, you’re doing that anyway”, EJ smiled.  
“So, answer the question.”  
“What question?”  
Ashlyn turned her glare at him and stared him down unimpressed.  
“Fine, fine, I just wanted it to be a surprise.”  
“Well, you definitely surprised me.”  
“What? You don’t like me being there?”

Ashlyn sat herself down next to him on the counter, a can of coke in her hand and handing him another one. EJ opened the can and took a long gulp from it.  
“I do, I do, it’s just… we all really connected with Miss Jenn last year, so just be prepared that we are all going to miss her, and some students might be a bit cold to you.”  
“I can handle that.”  
“I know you can.”  
The two cousins sat in silence next to each other for a while, both drinking from their drink. EJ hadn’t been back in town for long, just in time to apply for the substitute position, barely two months after graduating. He hadn’t told Ashlyn because he was also scared to teach at his old high school. He was still young and he was afraid most pupils wouldn’t take him seriously. But he also really wanted it to be a surprise for his cousin.  
“So, Dear Evan Hansen?”, Ashlyn broke the silence.  
“You like it?”  
“I really do and I think I’m not the only one. It’s just, it’s a really difficult play, I hope we can pull this off”, Ashlyn responded.  
“I’m sure we can manage, from what I’ve heard, High School Musical was a big success last year.”  
“I’m still mad at you for missing that, by the way”, Ashlyn gave EJ the side-eye.  
“If it helps, I’m still mad at myself as well. It’s just, finals and everything, being at the other side of the country…”  
“I know. But you better give a nice part to make up for it.”

She gave him a wink and EJ laughed out loud. After a few seconds of laughing, she couldn’t help herself and started laughing as well.  
“Well, you’ll just have to audition like everyone else, I guess, no favoritism.”  
“Damn, who are you and what have you done with my cousin?”  
“I grew up, Ash.”  
“I know, but can’t you grow down once in a while?”  
“I’m pretty sure that’s not even a word.”  
“I’m pretty sure I just invented it. It’s in the dictionary, look it up.”  
EJ finished his coke and crushed the can in his hand before getting up from the counter and throwing it in the trash. Ashlyn handed him her empty one as well.  
“Are you staying for dinner?”, EJ asked.  
“Oh, sure, I’ll ask mom.”  
“Good, cause you’ll have to tell me all about that boyfriend of yours”, EJ winked. 

Ashlyn’s eyes widened in shock and her cheeks turned bright red. She looked down at her feet in embarrassment. EJ laughed softly.  
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me”, he retorted to her entrance.  
“Well, I… uhm, wanted it to be a surprise?”  
“Okay, well, I want to hear all about him.”  
EJ opened his fridge and took out the chicken he found in there together with some vegetables. He started chopping the zucchinis while Ashlyn was still a bit embarrassed.  
“Okay, but then you have to tell me all about your love life as well”, she said after another minute of silence in which EJ finished the zucchinis.  
“Can’t tell you about it if I don’t have one”, EJ singsonged.  
“No one?” Ashlyn asked in surprise. “No one special back in New York?”  
“Nope”, EJ said.  
He started cutting the tomatoes in pieces.  
“Can you get the pasta?”


	2. Chapter 2

Today was audition day and Ricky couldn’t help but to be nervous. He knew he scored the lead last year, so he probably had the talent to not be as nervous as he was feeling, and he didn’t need to play the lead again this year. He just wanted to be a part of it, but still, he couldn’t help it. He was sitting down in the middle of all the other students who were auditioning, most of them he knew because they were also part of last year’s musical.

“Calm down, Ricky, you’re going to do amazingly”, Nini tried to relax him.  
He smiled at her, but didn’t say anything. At least he was on time this year. What was weird though was that Nini didn’t seem to be nervous at all, last year had really given her a confidence boost.

Then Mister Caswell walked into the room with a big smile on his eye, his bright green eyes lit up as he took in all the students present.

“Welcome, everyone, it’s wonderful to see so many of you here”, he greeted.

It was weird to see him entering alone, since Miss Jenn would always be accompanied by Carlos, who was now sitting between the rest of the students.

“As you may know, in the original Broadway musical, only 8 actors play in the show. But I can see there is a lot more interest in the school musical, so I decided to add more people. We are going to add some dance routines and more people to fill up the scenes at the school for example. Carlos, I heard you did an amazing job choreographing the show last year, would you do us the honour of being the choreographer again this year?”, EJ started his speech.

“Oh yes! Of course! I’d love to!”, Carlos exclaimed happily, hugging his boyfriend next to him.

“Wonderful! Thank you. Now, on to the auditions. I have the parts ready”, EJ said as he took out a stack of paper out of his messenger back. “Just get in line and I’ll hand them out.”

The students lined up and EJ started walking past them, handing out scripts for the parts the students asked for.

“I also want to remind you that, just because you are reading for one part, you can’t end up playing another part. I’m diving the roles to whoever I think best matches the part”, EJ explained while walking.

To Ricky’s surprise he saw Big Red standing next to Ashlyn in line. How had he missed his best friend deciding to audition for the play? Could Big Red even sing?

“Ashlyn?”, EJ asked.

“I want to read for Heidi, please”, she responded.

EJ raised an eyebrow in surprise, it seemed he had suspected his cousin would want to go for a bigger role. But he didn’t say anything and handed her her part. Then Big Red asked for Jared, which Ricky couldn’t help but smile about. EJ kept on walking until he arrived at Nini, standing next to Ricky.

“What will it be?”, he asked.

“Uhm, I’d like to read for Zoë, please?”, she asked, for nerves coming back a little.

“Sure, here you go”, EJ said while handing her the part.

Then he went on to Ricky.

“Ah, I know you. Ran into more people recently?”, he smiled.

“No, I only want to run into you”, Ricky responded before he could help himself.

Almost immediately he blushed a little. Why did he have to say that? Was he flirting with his teacher now? What a bad idea.

“Ah, well, guess you’ll soon have lots of opportunities”, EJ said back, almost winking, but stopping himself the last second.

Wait was his teacher sort of flirting back? What was happening?

“Anyway, what part will it be?”

“Uhm, Evan, please”, Ricky mumbled embarrassed.

“Good choice.”

They first did the acting part of the audition. People came up to read the lines from their script while EJ was furiously taking notes. Ricky paid attention to him as he was writing an entire page per student. It seemed he was really taking his job seriously and wanted to make the best decision.

When it was Ricky’s turn, EJ almost stopped writing entirely to pay attention to the boy. Ricky had to swallow a few times to get his nerves down before he started acting. Like the rest of the Evans he had to read out Evan’s opening monologue. It took Ricky a sentence or two to get into character, but afterwards he really got into the flow.

“Thank you, Ricky”, EJ said after Ricky had finished and went back to his seat.

Ricky watched as Nini nailed her acting part and was surprised by Big Red’s performance up there. He really hoped all of them would get their part.

“Okay, we are going to take a small break before we go over to the singing part. I hope all of you prepared a song from the show”, EJ announced after everyone had done their acting part.

Ricky walked over to Big Red.

“Dude, why didn’t you tell me you were auditioning?”, he asked his best friend.

“Oh, well, Ashlyn talked me into it? I guess I just kind of forgot to tell, anyway, I don’t think I’m going to get the part.”  
“Why not? You did amazing up there”, Ricky complemented his friend. “I just hope you can sing a little.”

“Yeah, I’m really nervous about that”, Big Red smiled sheepishly.

“How come I’ve never really heard you sing?”

“I don’t know, I’m just shy I guess.”

The two friends kept on talking for a while. Ricky calling Big Red an idiot affectionately for not telling him about auditioning. They kept on talking until Mister Caswell announced they would continue to the singing part.

Of course, Mister Caswell had to keep the Evans until last. One by one Ricky saw everyone take the stage and give a splendid performance. All of his friends were amazing. Ashlyn crushed So Big/So small earning her a standing ovation from the rest of the students and Mister Caswell, who might have been a bit biased as well. Big Red surprised Ricky with Jared’s part in Good for You. Nini aced her rendition of Requiem. And Gina sang amazingly in You Will Be Found.

Not only were the Evans last, Ricky was also the last of the Evans. Not there were that many people auditioning for Evan. By then he was sitting in his seat with his knee going up and down fast until Kourtney snapped at him and threatened to punch him if he didn’t stop shaking his leg.

“Last but not least, Ricky Bowen”, Mister Caswell called him at long last.

Ricky stood up, shaking a little. He had no idea where all his nerves were coming from, last year he was little and didn’t even like musical and then he was fine, so why now? Maybe it was exactly because he liked musicals now and since he wasn’t late, he’d had more time to overthink everything that could go wrong.

He took the stage and breathed in and out a couple of time to calm his nerves. Then he heard the music started to play. He closed his eyes and started to sing.

Ricky had no idea how he was doing, he knew he had picked a difficult song with For Forever, but then again, most of Evan’s songs were difficult. It took him until after the first chorus before Ricky could finally open his eyes.

Everyone was staring at him from their seats, they were clearly impressed with him. Nini was looking at him proudly and also Gina couldn’t hide her pride. Mister Caswell didn’t seem to be writing at all and was just openly gazing at him. His pencil lay forgotten on his desk.

_Two friends on a perfect day._

Ricky sang out at the end of the song, closing his eyes again because he wasn’t ready to face the student body yet. But, of course, he still heard the applause that followed his performance.  
When he finally opened his eye again, he saw everyone standing up. He blushed a little at the attention he was receiving. Awkwardly he walked of the stage, mostly looking at the ground and not at the other people in the room.

EJ was sitting alone in the auditorium, the auditions had just finished, and he was looking at the cast list. Well, at the cast list he was still supposed to put together. He had written the names of all eight characters on the piece of paper he would be hanging out later today. His pencil was tapping against his desk while he was thinking.

He was really impressed with everyone who auditioned today, he had no idea there would be this much talent in his old school, back in his days - which wasn’t actually that long ago - there wasn’t this much talent to be found. EJ felt lucky he was allowed and able to work with the students.

His mind kept going back to the last performance of the day. EJ knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help it. Ricky was just too cute and, if he wasn’t mistaken, had even flirted a little with EJ earlier. Why did this boy have to make it this hard to keep his professionality? He had only seen the boy a couple of times, but he already felt a little bit attracted to him. Damn his gay brain that went soft over cute boys.

“ _Come on, focus, EJ, he’s your student!_ ”, he thought to himself.

Shaking his head in order to try and clear his mind, which only worked a little bit. He looked at his list again and wrote down a few names. He could do this right? He sighed and slowly filled in all eight names.

After he was finished, he took another look at it. This should work. He believed in the cast list he had put together. Now it was time to put the list out there.

As soon as he opened the auditorium doors, he noticed all the students sitting there, clearly waiting for him to come out. He laughed a little at their reactions, most people’s eyes widened as soon as he opened the door. Most students seemed to be nervous and he could understand why. The hardest part about making this decision was having to disappoint so many other students who had tried their hardest.

EJ slowly started walking towards the wall where he would hang the list. He both felt and was the students following behind him. The excitement almost palpable in the air.

“ _Here goes_ ”, EJ thought to himself, before finally hanging up the piece of paper.

He stepped away quickly, and immediately everyone crowded the cast list. People crawling over each other to see the list.

** Cast list: Dear Evan Hansen **

**Evan Hansen: Ricky Bowen**

**Zoë Murphy: Nini Salazar-Roberts**

**Connor Murphy: Seb Matthew-Smith**

**Jared Kleinman: Big Red**

**Alana Beck: Gina Porter**

**Heidi Hansen: Ashlyn Caswell**

**Larry Murphy: Carlos Rodriguez**

**Cynthia Murphy: Kourtney Greene**

EJ heard shouts both of excitement and disappointment, which he understood. He couldn’t make everyone happy with his casting choices. He looked out for Ashlyn to see how she would react and was glad to see she was hugging her boyfriend. He was also happy that now he would get the chance to get to know Big Red a little bit better and find out what kind of person Ashlyn’s boyfriend actually was. Ashlyn was like a sister to him, he hoped her boyfriend would be a good person.

Ricky finally got to the cast list, he had been way at the back when Mister Caswell had hung it up the wall. His eyes scanned the piece of paper, but he didn’t actually need to search for long. His name was right at the top. Ricky let out a sigh of relief and looked aside to where Nini stood next to him. She also let out a squeal of excitement and put her arms around Ricky.

“Oh my god, Ricky, I can’t believe it! We both got the part!”

“Yeah”, Ricky wasn’t really able to say much more, he was still a little overwhelmed.

After Nini let go of him, he found Big Red and congratulated him on his part as well. Now they got to play friends on stage as well. Then he found Gina and hugged her as well.

“Congratulations”, he told her.

“You as well. You earned it, you nailed your audition”, Gina told him.

Ricky blushed a little.

“You too, I’m glad you got the part.”

“I’m so excited, this musical is going to be the best.”

“Better than High School Musical”, Ricky raised his eyebrow.

“Uhm, equal”, Gina conceded while laughing.

Suddenly, Ricky felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and looked right at Mister Caswell’s smile and bright green eyes.

“Congratulations, Ricky”, he said smiling.

Ricky gulped a little and kept on staring at Mister Caswell’s face.

“Uhm… thanks for giving me the part”, Ricky smiled back.

“You earned it.”

“ _Fuck, I’m screwed_ ”, Ricky thought to himself, still looking up at Mister Caswell.

“ _Fuck, I’m screwed_ ”, EJ thought to himself, looking down at the brown curls and soft brown eyes of the boy, almost unable to look away.


	3. Chapter 3

EJ was trying to calm himself down. He was home alone at his apartment and stalking between his kitchen and living room. His hands were in his hair and he was muttering to himself.

“This can’t be happening. Just calm down. Just ignore the feeling”, he was saying to himself over and over again.

He tried to sit down in one of his chairs, but was on his feet again soon after.

“He’s your student, you can’t feel anything like this for him. You could lose your job”, he was saying now.

Suddenly, EJ stood still halfway between the route he had been stalking for at least twenty minutes.

“But why did he feel like he was sort of flirting with me? Like he might also be interested?”

EJ’s eyebrows were frowned as he was going over their interactions that day again. How Ricky had blushed every time they came near each other. Or how he had said he only wanted to walk into EJ. Maybe giving him the lead role hadn’t been his best idea, since that meant they would be working together a lot. But then again, how could EJ not have given Ricky the main role after that audition.

“No, don’t get your hopes up thinking about him maybe being interested as well. What am I saying, I shouldn’t have hopes at all? I’M HIS TEACHER!”, he shouted at himself.

EJ sat down again, this time saying seated, and put his head in his hands. He groaned softly because of all the conflicting and confusing feelings and thoughts going on in his head. Rubbing his hands in his eyes, he sat in silence for a while. He was glad it was weekend now, maybe he could get his thoughts in line before Monday rolled around and he had to see Ricky again. Something he was also very much looking forward to, but he didn’t want to admit that to himself.

His bell rang and EJ got up from his seat, it could only be one person at the door.

“You look like shit”, was the first thing she said as soon as EJ opened the door.

“Nice to see you too, Ashlyn.”

“What happened?”, Ashlyn asked, while walking inside the apartment.

“Nothing did.”

Ashlyn raised her eyebrow and look at him unimpressed. EJ raised his eyebrows back at her, not at all ready to talk to her about what had been going on. Ashlyn let out a disappointed sigh. She sat down on his couch and patted the seat next to her.

“Come, sit down, you’re going to talk.”

“I am most definitely not”, EJ said, but he sat down next to her anyway.

“You most definitely are”, Ashlyn retorted.

EJ sighed and crossed his arms stubbornly, acting like a child. Ashlyn rolled her eyes and just kept looking at him, saying nothing, trying to make him uncomfortable. EJ wanted to say that it didn’t affect him, but, unfortunately for him, it kind of did. Okay, maybe it did affect him a lot.

“What?”

“Talk, something is clearly wrong with you.”

EJ sighed again, but finally uncrossed his arms.

“Okay, but you have to promise not to judge me. I’m trying not to, but I can’t really help it.”

“Trying not to like Ricky?”, Ashlyn asked.

EJ’s eyes widened and he looked at her in shock. He started stuttering.

“H-H-How did you… How did… How did you…?”

“Know? EJ, I’ve known you all of my life now, I think I know you pretty well. I’ve seen the way you look at him and the way you try not to.”

EJ kept looking at her in shock, not really sure what to say to her. Damn, she had seen that? Then who else might have noticed? He couldn’t lose his job because he started crushing on one of his students! So, he told her that.

“You’re not going to lose your job because you like one of your students”, Ashlyn reassured him.

“How do you know? You don’t know that!”

“Well, first of all, nothing happened between the two of you, right? So, nobody knows anything.”

EJ shook his head. Of course, nothing had happened between them.

“See, so as long as no one knows… and even if they, you’re not reaaaally his teacher.”

EJ wanted to object, but Ashlyn raised her hand and continued before he could interrupt.

“You don’t teach him in a class, and you don’t have to grade him on anything. You only direct the school musical in which he happens to be. Plus, you’re a substitute teacher and Ricky is 18 so age-wise it’s legal.”

EJ opened his mouth again in order to say something, but again Ashlyn stopped him.

“I’m not saying that you should go for it. It still would be smartest that if you like, you wait until he graduated, you are still faculty and he is still a student. But I am saying that you shouldn’t beat yourself up about this so hard. You can’t help it that you like him, I mean, it’s pretty clear that you don’t want to.”

EJ nodded and tried to calm down. Everything Ashlyn said made sort of sense. Maybe he should try and not feel to bad about this. As long as nothing happened between them, nothing bad could happen. Ricky didn’t even like him back, so how could something happen?

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Besides, it’s not like Ricky likes me back or something, so as long as nothing happens – and nothing is going to happen because he doesn’t like him – everything is going to be alright”, he said to Ashlyn, but mostly to calm himself down.

“Uhm…”

“What?”

“Well, uhm, I actually think Ricky might like you back?”, Ashlyn said hesitantly.

“What? How? Why? What do you mean?”

“It’s just, the way he also looks at you and the same way he doesn’t want to look at you. I don’t know Ricky as long or as good as I know you, but I got to know him pretty well last year when we worked together on High School Musical. Let’s just say that the way he looks at you reminds me of the way he looked at Nini and he really liked Nini, like a lot, a lot.”

EJ needed some time to wrap his head around all this. Where to even focus on first? That Ricky might like him back? That Ricky used to like Nini? Wait, didn’t he just cast Ricky and Nini as lovers in the musical?

“Ricky used to like Nini?”, he settled on asking.

“Yeah, they have been together a very long time, broke up twice now. People always thought they would be endgame, but since their last break-up they seem to be more friendship goals than relationship goals.”

“Oh.”

EJ had to think this over in his mind, now he was worried about his casting choices. He got kind of jealous of Nini and wished he hadn’t cast her as Zoë. Could he still change that?

“Don’t hurt yourself thinking too much”, Ashlyn said with a smile on her lips.

“Ha. Ha.”, EJ retorted.

“What are you thinking about? Whether Ricky might like you back?”

“Uhm, yeah, that.”

“Well, it’s up to you what you do with that. Of course, I’m not sure and you can only be sure too when you ask him. But, you know, student and faculty and all.”

“Yeah, I know.”

EJ let out a frustrated groan and buried his head in his hands again. He let out a cry now and started sobbing. Ashlyn put her hand on his back and started rubbing in soothing circles, trying to calm him down.

“Oh EJ, it’s okay. Just calm down.”

“It’s not okay. I can’t like him! He’s a student, there’s nothing I can do. It’s not fair.”

Ashlyn pried his hands away from his face and enveloped her cousin in a hug. EJ circled his arms around her in return and started sobbing heavily. Tears were streaming down his face as Ashlyn was making shushing noise to try to soothe him.

“It’ll be okay, it’ll work out”, she kept repeating softly in his ear.

EJ just kept sobbing on her shoulder.

Ricky was at home, lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. When he had arrived home, he had told his dad the happy he news that he was cast as the lead role again in the musical. He had acted like everything was totally fine.

But then, when he had entered his room he had screamed into his pillow, making sure his dad hadn’t heard him. He had hit his mattress a couple of times to let off some steam.

By now, he had calmed down quite a lot, but he was still feeling miserable. Staring at the ceiling, his eyes still a bit wet. He has kind of relieved that it was Friday, that way he had the entire weekend to calm down and get his thoughts in line. Monday he would have to face Mister Caswell again during their first repetitions, he just hoped that by then he would be a little bit over him and that he could handle him.

Why did he have to be so stupid to start liking a teacher again? Well, Mister Caswell wasn’t really his teacher, but it was close enough. Way too close, actually. Maybe he could wait until he graduated? But then again, there was no way Mister Caswell could ever like him back, so why would he even bother? The best thing he could do was just get over Mister Caswell as soon as possible.

“I hate this, this is so fucking unfair. Why did I have to crush on my teacher?”, Ricky mumbled to himself.

Then he decided he couldn’t stay in his room anymore; here he would just keep on getting more and more depressed. So, he got out of his bed and put on his shoes. He ran downstairs and grabbed his skateboard.

“I’m going to Big Red’s!”, he yelled at his dad.

“Okay, but be back on time!”

“Will be!”

Ricky left his house and let out a sigh of relief before he jumped on his board and kicked himself off. Slowly, he made his way to Big Red’s house, trying to make the fresh air clean out the thoughts that were swamping his head.

When he arrived at his friend’s house he hesitated. On the one hand he wanted the company to distract himself from his own mind, on the other hand he wasn’t really sure if being with Big Red right now was such a good idea.

For a moment he doubted if going to Nini was a better idea, but she would most definitely see right through him and make him talk about his feelings and what was bothering him. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. No, that’s not right, he was sure he wasn’t ready for that.

But then why was he doubting if he wanted to see Big Red? Before he knew it, he was on his skateboard again and riding away. He had no idea where he was going, but he just let his feet and his wheels take him.

“I don’t what to talk about it”, was the first thing he said as soon as Gina opened the door.

Gina looked at him, taking a second to read his face.

“Okay”, she said slowly, before stepping inside and letting him.

He nodded his head in thanks and walked past her, taking of his coat.

“You sure, though?”, Gina asked.

“Yeah, no, not really.”

Ricky was silent for a few second thinking her question over. In the end he shook his head.

“No, at least not right now.”

Gina nodded slowly and smiled at him, patting his shoulder softly.

“When you change your mind, know that I am always here to talk, okay? You know I’ve had a few feelings in my life”, she winked.

He laughed softly.

“I’ll remember, but not right now.”

“So, what do you want to instead then? I have a ton of YouTube tutorials I want to try out, if you’re up for it.”

“Again, you with the YouTube”, Ricky laughed.

Gina laughed with him and let him to her room, just now realizing they were still standing in the hallway. Ricky walked into her room and looked around in wonder. He had never actually been inside her house, only been outside once when he had dropped her off after Homecoming.

“You have a nice room.”

“Thanks.”

Then, Ricky spotted the guitar in her corner and he raised his eyebrow as he walked over to it. He picked it up strummed it once.

“I thought you didn’t play?”, he asked Gina.

She shrugged.

“I don’t. I thought I might want to learn through YouTube, but this is one thing I can’t seem to learn online.”

Ricky softly started playing a few chords. He was lost in his own mind for a while before he realized Gina was humming along to what he was playing. Without him noticing he had started playing _You Will Be Found_ from their show. He smiled to himself.

He looked at Gina and stopped playing for a second, before starting the song again.

“ _Have you ever felt like nobody was there?”,_ he started singing.

Gina smiled at him and nodded her head slowly to the rhythm of the song. Ricky walked up to her, he had still been standing in the corner, while he continued his part of the song. Gina stood up from where she had been sitting on her bed. They now stood together in the middle of Gina’s bedroom. Gina dancing a little, while Ricky was playing the guitar and moving his body along.

_“There’s a place where we don’t have to feel unknown”,_ Gina took over as her part of the song started.

Ricky started circling her as she sang her part, also taking over Jared’s part since it was only the two of them.

_“Even when the dark comes crashing through_

_When you need a friend to carry you_

_When you’re broken on the ground_

_You will be found.”_

They sang together now. Ricky felt a little alive again, this what actually what he needed right now to feel a little better.

But as the song started to reach its end, Ricky started seeing Mister Caswell’s face before his eyes. He saw his black hair, his bright green eyes and his proud smile as he congratulated Ricky on scoring the part. He faltered his guitar playing for half a second.

By the end of the song, Ricky couldn’t put down the guitar fast enough. His eyes where wet again. Gina was still a little lost in the song and smiled at their duet before she noticed the look on Ricky’s face.

“Oh, Ricky”, she said before hugging softly.

“No, no, I don’t want to cry”, he said stubbornly.

“It’s okay”, Gina whispered.

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. It’s okay.”

Ricky closed his eyes and felt the tears coming through his closed eyelids. A sob escaped him.

“I just don’t know what to do”, he let out, his voice a little broken.

“How about you start with talking about it?”, Gina suggested.

So Ricky did.


	4. Chapter 4

When Monday rolled around, Ricky wasn’t ready at all to face school. More specifically, the end of the school day, when they would have their first rehearsal with Mister Caswell. His talk with Gina had been a relief to let it all out, but that didn’t mean he prepared to face his teacher he had the hots for now. There was no way anything could happen between them anyway. There was also no way Mister Caswell might actually like him back.

When Monday rolled around, EJ wasn’t ready at all to face school. More specifically, the end of the school day, when they would have their first rehearsal with Ricky as the lead. EJ was glad he had had that conversation with Ashlyn, even though it also confused him even more and didn’t prepare him at all to face his student he found oh so cute. There was no way anything could happen between them. But what if Ashlyn was right? And Ricky might like him back?

Ricky was distracted all day, hardly paying attention to his classes. He was lucky he didn’t have any tests today or he would have failed them dramatically with his current level of concentration. His mind just kept on wondering back to the drama teacher he would have to face later today.

It got so bad his friends started noticing something was up with Ricky. They all sat down at a table in the cafeteria during lunch break. Ricky was eating, but not much. No one but Gina knew what was going on with him.

“Are you okay, Ricky?”, Nini asked.

Ricky looked up, noticing the look Gina was throwing his way. She had promised not to tell anyone.

“Yes, just nervous for tonight.”

“By tonight you mean the rehearsal?”, Nini asked again.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”, Kourtney asked now, clearly confused why Ricky would be nervous about a rehearsal.

Well, it wasn’t the rehearsal per se he was worried about, it was more who would be at that rehearsal.

“I don’t know, it’s a difficult part, I don’t want to embarrass myself, I guess.”

“As if you could ever embarrass yourself”, Nini tried to reassure him.

“Of course, I could! By not acting well, by singing out of tune, by forgetting my lyrics and/or my lines…”, Ricky started to sum up.

_“By crushing on your teacher”_ , his own mind supplied, luckily not saying it out loud.

With all their attention focused, no one noticed Ashlyn quietly keeping her eyes on Ricky, she was scrutinizing him. Gina might know Ricky’s side of the story, but Ashlyn knew EJ’s side and was also quite close to Ricky as well. That made her probably the person who knew most about what was going on. Probably even more than the two boys themselves. By the way Ricky was acting, she was almost sure he liked EJ back. Ashlyn sighed inside, feeling pity for both of them.

“But Ricky, that’s not embarrassing yourself, that could happen to all of us. Hell, it even happened to all of us during rehearsals last year”, Nini again tried to cheer Ricky up.

“Yeah, I know, I’m not sure why I feel so nervous. I guess it’ll pass”, Ricky shrugged.

Nini patted his shoulder in sympathy.

“But aren’t you all excited about that first rehearsal?”, Gina changed the subject.

Ricky looked at her gratefully as the rest of them agreed with her. Nini almost squealed in excitement, which made all of them laugh.

“Careful, Nini, or your British accent might show up”, Kourtney warned her while laughing.

“Oh, shut up”, Nini said, sounding dangerously close to her British accent.

“How about you, Big Red? This is your first ever show, are you nervous?”, Gina asked.

Big Red blushed a little and smiled shyly.

“Not really at the moment. I might be when the show is actually there. But as long as Ashlyn’s by my side, I’ll be alright”, he responded.

“Aww”, everyone cooed everyone.

Big Red looked aside at his girlfriend and smiled happily at her, she smiled back and softly pecked his lips. At that moment Carlos and Seb arrived at their table.

“Sorry, I was working with Mister Caswell on some choreographies”, Carlos said as he sat down at the end of the table.

Seb sat down next to him. Ricky managed to hide most of his reaction to Mister Caswell’s name, or so he thought. Both Gina and Ashlyn had seen it, but didn’t say anything, of course.

“Hey, Big Red, do you think you could show us your tap skills during the show?”, Carlos asked.

Big Red seemed to hesitate, but Ashlyn cut in.

“Oh my god, yeah, that’s such a good idea. Honey, you’re amazing, the world needs to see.”

“More like the parents of Salt Lake City”, Kourtney mumbled.

Big Red ignored her and look at Ashlyn, who was looking at him with proudly.

“Okay, sure”, he answered Carlos.

“Great!”

Ricky looked a little jealously at the couple, missing someone for his own. When he broke up with Nini, while for the better, that was what he missed the most: having that special person to call your own, having that affection and connection.

Next Ricky looked at Carlos and Seb who were also being lovey-dovey with each other at the end of the table. It’s not that he didn’t want this for them, because he really did, he was really happy for all his friends who were in a relationship. It’s just that he wanted the same thing for himself again.

Ricky slouched a little in his seat, trying not to put any attention to himself, but still sulking. This time Gina was the only one who noticed. Ashlyn being to invested in the conversation about Big Red’s tap dancing. She was right though Ricky agreed, his friend’s tap dancing truly was amazing.

“I’m still trying to convince Mister Caswell to have a dance between Evan and Zoë though”, Carlos sighed a little later.

Ricky looked up, reacting to the name of his character. Nini also paid her full attention.

“What do you mean?”, she asked.

“Well, for some reason he reacted really coldly when I suggested it. I mean, there definitely should be a dance between them when they are together, right? But Mister Caswell said he’d think about it but didn’t seem enthusiastic at all.”

Carlos scratched his chin as he was recalling the memory, clearly trying to think about why Mister Caswell would be so against the dance sequence.

“That’s weird”, Nini said.

“Yeah, it really was, because he was really excited about all my other ideas. He even said I was really talented. But he completely shut down when I proposed you and Ricky dancing.”

Ricky frowned, what did that mean? Maybe Mister Caswell didn’t think Ricky was talented enough or couldn’t handle such a dance scene? For some reason Ricky felt a little offended at the news. But also, a little sad, because an extra dance scene would mean extra time rehearsing with Mister Caswell. But then again, that could also be positive.

“But anyway, I’ll talk to Mister Caswell about it. The other dancing scenes we’re planning are going to be amazing. Ricky, I am choreographing a beautiful dance for you and Seb!”, Carlos was clearly excited about that dance.

Oh, so it wasn’t that Mister Caswell thought he wasn’t talented? Or maybe he didn’t think he could handle two dances?

“Oh, cool, when?”

“Somewhere at the end, where Connor confronts Evan about falling out of the tree.”

“Right,” Ricky smiled a little, “aren’t you afraid I might try to steal your boyfriend through all that dancing?”

Ricky winked at the both of them and they started laughing.

“Yeah, right, I’d like to see you try”, Carlos said.

“I don’t know, Carlos, Ricky is kind of cute”, Seb teased his boyfriend.

Carlos pouted, but Seb started laughing again and kissed it away.

“But not as cute as you.”

Ricky was watching their interaction jealously again. Of course, Ricky didn’t want to steal Seb from Carlos, they were way too cute together. Besides, he was way more interested in another boy at the moment, too bad that could never work out.

Ashlyn had also paid close attention to the news that EJ didn’t want Ricky dancing with Nini, but unlike Ricky she knew exactly why EJ didn’t want that. She frowned her eyebrows a little, she would have to have a conversation with her cousin about that later.

The bell rang and the group let out a collective groan at the start of the classes again. Ricky felt before he was Gina coming up next to him.

“Are you alright?”, she whispered under her breath, so softly only Ricky could hear her.

“I don’t know”, he whispered back, just as softly.

“It’ll be alright”, she whispered again.

“I hope so.”

Gina patted his shoulder softly and gave him a compassionate smile, before she took off to her own class. Ricky let out a little sigh he had been holding and walked to his own class.

He had no idea how this could ever be alright.

EJ was distracted all day. He didn’t have to teach, since he was only the substitute drama teacher, but he did have a meeting with his colleagues. At any time during the meeting they could have asked him what they were discussing and he would have no clue at all. He was glad they weren’t really expecting him to participate yet.

He had a feeling he got his act a little bit more together by the time he had his discussion with Carlos. EJ was really looking forward to that meeting, he was excited to see what Carlos had come up with, glad to boy had so much enthusiasm for the choreographies.

“Hey, Carlos”, EJ greeted the boy as he entered the auditorium.

“Hello, Mister Caswell.”

“Okay, I’ll start with the ideas I had in mind, but I want you to be the choreographer, so I’m putting most of the responsibility in your hands, is that okay?”

Carlos nodded his head, clearly not minding at all.

“Just one question before we start.”

“Okay?”

“Can Seb join us for this meeting? He’s my uhm boyfriend and I just feel like I work better when he’s around.”, Carlos looked a little unsure about admitting he had a boyfriend, nervous about EJ’s reaction.

“Oh, yeah, sure, why not? The more the merrier”, EJ responded.

“It’s okay!”, Carlos yelled at the door.

Seb came in, looking a little sheepish. He came over and sat down next to Carlos. Then, Carlos took out a binder from his backpack. ‘DANCE CHOREOGRAPHIES’ was written all over it.

“I came prepared”, he said.

“So, I can see,” EJ laughed. “I like your spirit.”

Carlos smiled at his teacher, he still missed Miss Jenn, but he guessed Mister Caswell was a fine substitute. More than fine actually.

“Okay, as I said, I’ll just quickly go over what I had in mind and then we can go over your ideas.”

EJ went over what he had in mind, which wasn’t that much if he was honest with himself. This weekend he had had a lot more on his mind than the dance choreographies. A cute curly student of his for example. Besides he was more focused on the acting and singing part of the show.

Basically, EJ had two ideas ready. A dance all the way at the end to finish the show that would function as a curtain call at the same time and a group choreography during _You Will Be Found_ that represented the people online looking at Evan’s speech.

Carlos seemed to have had the same ideas, but he also had plenty more. He explained his idea for the dance between Ricky and Seb during one of the emotional climaxes of the show. Carlos described it as a challenging choreography, but felt confident he could teach it to Ricky.

“I absolutely love it, Carlos, that seems like a very good idea! I’m already super curious about how it will look like.”

Carlos smiled at EJ’s compliment and went on with some ideas for Gina since, according to him, it would be a crime not to use her dancing talents. He even showed EJ a clip from her routine during High School Musical and EJ could only agree.

“I’m sure you can make a showstopping choreography for her, Carlos. From what I’ve seen so far, you seem like a very talented choreographer.”

Seb punched his boyfriend softly in the side after that compliment and smiled at him. He was clearly proud of him. Carlos couldn’t help but smile a little, also proud of himself he had convinced his teacher of his talent.

“Oh, and then Big Red is a really amazing tap dancer, so maybe we could do something with that as well? The problem is that he’s really shy about it, so I might have to check with him first.”

“Tap sounds cool to add to the show. It’s unexpected but could work super well. Why don’t you check with Big Red whether he’s confident to tap on stage?”

“Will do!”

Carlos looked over his notes again, he was almost through all of his ideas. He just had one left, but it was the one he was most confident about, he was so sure Mister Caswell would love it. Carlos had worked really hard on this one and was super proud of it.

“Okay, then last but not least, I want to do a dance between Ricky and Nini when they are together in the show. Something quite romantic, before everything falls apart again.”

EJ froze, remembering what Ashlyn had told him about Ricky and Nini. How they used to be together and apparently everyone had thought of them as relationship goals, so they must have worked together very well. He wasn’t sure he could handle seeing Ricky dancing romantically with Nini, this weekend he had had half the mind to cut their kiss scenes, but that might have been too suspicious.

“Oh, uhm, I’m not sure that’s a good idea”, EJ said slowly, interrupting Carlos who had been in the middle of describing how he saw the dance.

“What? Why not?”

“I just don’t see it working, Carlos. No, I don’t think we should do this. Let’s focus on your other ideas.”

“But, Mister Caswell, I really think this is a great idea, I worked hard on this choreography.”

“I’m sorry for your time, Carlos, but I’m not a fan of this idea. Your others however…”

“How come you’re not a fan?”

“I just don’t see it working, Carlos.”

“But…”

“No more buts, please.”

“Please just think about it, Mister Caswell, I’m really excited about this one.”

EJ looked at Carlos’s eyes. Inside EJ was still very much panicking. No way was he going to let Ricky dance with Nini, he just couldn’t handle that. He would just get too jealous and there was nothing he could do about it.

“I’ll think about it”, EJ conceded, but he said it more to get over it for now.

He still very much wasn’t into the idea. He knew his tone was still very cold, but he couldn’t help it.

“Thank you, Mister Caswell.”

EJ nodded slowly, trying to clear his mind without Carlos and Seb noticing. He got really out of it after Carlos’s idea, his thoughts all over the place. The worst thing was that now Ricky was constantly in his mind again. He could handle it before when they were discussing dances for him, but now… EJ just needed a moment.

“Okay, Carlos, let’s finish this here. I promise to think about your last idea, but I’m really excited about all your other. We’ll be working on some of them tonight, okay? Then you can go back to your friends now and eat your lunch before the break is over.”

Carlos and Seb left, leaving EJ behind. EJ let out a sigh as soon as the boys left the auditorium, happy to be alone for now. Why did Carlos have to propose that idea? And why did it hurt him so much? Was he already in that deep with Ricky?

“Fuck”, he cursed to himself.

Rehearsal was going to be hell after school.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this update my writing speed is probably going to slow down considerably. My holidays are slowly coming to an end and I actually have a lot of school work to do so I' m gonna need a lot of time for that. I hope to still be update to update at least once a week. 
> 
> Also, I should have said this earlier, but English isn't my first language, so please excuse me for any spelling/grammar mistakes! I'm trying my best. 
> 
> I also know that there is quite a lot of Dear Evan Hansen stuff in the chapters. For those of you who don't really know the show, I'm sorry, I promise there will come plenty chapters without as well. But on the other hand, it's an amazing show so, please look it up if you don't know it.

The time had come, Ricky was waiting with his friends for the rehearsal to begin. Mister Caswell hadn’t arrived yet, but the theater gang was all there already. Ricky had no idea how to feel, right now, he just tried to focus as much on what he had to do as he could.

Finally, Mister Caswell arrived, five minutes late.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you guys, I was lost in a conversation and lost track of time. It won’t happen again”, he apologized.

“That’s okay, Mister Caswell, it can happen”, Nini said.

“Okay, I had a great meeting with Carlos and Seb during lunch break about the dances we are going to add to the show. Carlos is going to work with you on the final one later, but first I want to start with some acting scenes. Maybe some singing, but we’ll see about that. Does that sound good for you, guys?” Mister Caswell asked.

A collective sound of agreement was heard. Mister Caswell smiled and took out his script, taking a look at the different scenes. Somehow, Ricky hoped he would not have to start just yet, before he realized he was almost literally in every scene.

“Let’s just start at the beginning. So, Ricky,” — he faltered for just a fraction of a second saying Ricky’s name — “I need you in the left side of the stage. Ashlyn, you come in from the right. We’ll see how your scene goes first and then maybe we can go over to the scene between the Murphys. So, Kourtney, Carlos, Nini and Seb, please be ready. Remember, Ashlyn, we are doing the scene without the singing part now, but we are doing the acted lines in between the song. Understood?”

Ashlyn nodded and smiled at her cousin, who gave her a smile back. Ricky, meanwhile, was nervously picking at his clothes. He wasn’t nervous about the rehearsal itself anymore, but he was about working together with Mister Caswell and having all his attention on him.

“Let’s go then. Places everyone.”

Everyone who wasn’t supposed to act right, took a seat at the edges of the room. Ricky stood up from where he was sitting against the wall and walked to the middle of the room. Ashlyn was also getting in place.

“More to the right, please, Ricky”, Mister Caswell instructed him.

Ricky nodded and sat down at the right side of their improvised stage. They weren’t rehearsing in the auditorium, but in the same they most of their rehearsals in last year. There was no décor yet, so Ricky just had to act as if he was sitting in a bed and on a computer. He looked up at Mister Caswell to see if he could start, he found Mister Caswell looking at him a little intensely and felt his nerves grow even more.

Finally, even though it was only like a second later, Mister Caswell nodded, signaling he could start. Ricky struggled his way through his opening monologue. He knew he wasn’t doing well, but he hoped the others just thought it was because it was the first time they were doing it.

Mister Caswell interrupted right before Ashlyn entered the scene. He was looking thoughtful. Ricky felt bad he had disappointed his teacher and looked down, a little ashamed. He was mad at himself that he had been too distracted by said teacher to do the scene properly.

“Okay, Ricky, this was the first time we tried this, so it’s absolutely fine, but I think you can do better. Let’s just try to do it again, okay?”

Ricky nodded, but didn’t say anything. He just started the scene again when Mister Caswell gave him the sign. This time, he did a lot better. Ricky wanted to impress the teacher he still had the hots for and delivered his lines well this time. Mister Caswell looked at him approvingly, he gulped a little, since he was also quite distracted by his cute student.

Now, Ashlyn actually made it into the scene. Of course, she nailed her part and even lifted Ricky up even further to do even better. The rest of the students was getting excited about the performance they were seeing.

Afterwards, Mister Caswell went over a few notes he had written down. He complimented both Ashlyn and Ricky on their performance, telling Ricky how much better his second try had been. Ricky felt himself get a little warm inside at the compliments he was receiving from his teacher. He just hoped his face didn’t get red.

They also managed to do the scene with the Murphys, giving Ricky some respite where he could sit aside and not be on stage for a while. This was one of the very few moments he wasn’t actually in, so, he took his moment to enjoy it.

Ricky not being on stage also meant that Mister Caswell’s attention wasn’t on him anymore. At least, that’s what he thought. While EJ was, of course, paying attention to Nini, Seb, Carlos and Kourtney acting out their scene, his mind was still focused on Ricky. Even sneaking a glance at him from time to time without the younger boy noticing. EJ still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact he had fallen so deep for the boy so fast. Why did he have to be his student again?

Nini, Seb, Kourtney and Carlos also needed a second try for their scene, not that they as badly as Ricky had done at first, but there was also definitely need for some improvement. So, Mister Caswell asked them to do it a second time, giving Ricky even more time to not be on stage.

After Mister Caswell was happy with the Murphy-scene, he decided maybe they would do some singing today before he would let Carlos take over for the dancing part of the rehearsal. Ricky hoped they would do _Anybody have a Map?_ , so he wouldn’t have to sing.

EJ also didn’t feel ready to again focus entirely on Ricky, so he also opted for the first song of the show. Ashlyn and Kourtney took their places on the stage. Firstly, they would practice the song without the actual scene or the choreography.

“Okay, you can start”, Mister Caswell gave the sign and Ashlyn started to sing.

Ricky was sort of relieved when they moved on to the dancing part, because here Carlos would take over. What he hadn’t seen coming, was that Mister Caswell wasn’t letting Carlos take over entirely and also still acted as the teacher, but now more as if he was Carlos’s assistant.

Carlos had just finished explaining the first part of the choreography and they were going to start practicing, when Ricky felt two hands on his shoulders, guiding him aside. He looked up and saw Mister Caswell looking down at him.

“You should be a little more to the left, otherwise we can’t see Kourtney behind you”, he explained.

“Oh, okay.”

Ricky let himself be guided to were Mister Caswell wanted him to stand, he felt a little embarrassed he enjoyed the touch on his shoulders so much. EJ also left his hands there a little longer than was actually necessary. He let go when he saw Ashlyn looking at him weirdly, though. A coughed a little and quickly stepped away from Ricky.

“Yeah, there, much better”, he mumbled, before walking on.

Ricky kept looking after him as Mister Caswell walked away. When he looked back, he saw Gina look at him funnily. He raised his eyebrow at her, and she actually had to hold back a laugh. Ricky felt his ears go a little red and tried to ignore Gina from now on.

“Dude, maybe Mister Caswell’s into you too”, Gina whispered in his ear as they took a break from dancing.

“Please, as if”, he whispered back, looking at her a bit angrily.

“Well, it’s not the first time he touched you”, Gina said back.

“Still… he might just be a tactile person.”

“What are you two whispering about?”, Big Red asked as he came to sit down next to Ricky.

“Nothing special.”

Big Red already had most of the choreography down, proving himself to be one of the most talented dancers in the room. Only Gina did better than him at the moment, and Carlos, of course, but he made the choreography. Ricky had actually gotten quite jealous at his best friend picking up the routine so quickly. His dance moves still left a lot to be desired.

“Okay, everyone back on your feet”, Carlos shouted, saving Ricky from having to explain to Big Red what they actually had been talking about.

Ricky groaned, even though, the call might have saved him from an explanation, he still didn’t feel ready at all to start dancing again. Gina looked at him and laughed at his frustrated face. She didn’t seem tired or anything at all from their last dance session. In fact, it was most likely just a warm-up for her. Big Red also didn’t seem tired and laughed at Ricky. Ricky rolled his eyes at the both of them.

It was the end of the rehearsal.

“ _Finally_ ”, Ricky thought.

Not that he hadn’t liked the rehearsal, because he absolutely did, he was so happy to be working on a musical again, but the end also meant he wouldn’t have to dance again for a while, and he didn’t have to be confronted with Mister Caswell anymore.

EJ also had a lot of conflicted feelings at the end, for basically the same reasons. He truly was happy to be working with all of these talented students. They had surprised him a lot that evening. Of course, working with theater was also one of his passions, that’s why he had studied it, so he was always happy to be doing exactly that. But for one single reason, the rehearsal had also been so stressful and that was the fact that he couldn’t keep his eyes of one of his students. Ricky Bowen really was going to be the death of him some day. Even his looks alone had captured EJ’s attention and totally captivated him, but then he also had to be super talented and have an amazing personality as well. And he was just getting to know him better and better, which only made him fall deeper and deeper.

“Hey, I have an idea!”, Nini suddenly shouted.

Everyone turned their attention to her, which made her smile sheepishly, suddenly a little shy with everyone looking at her.

“I was thinking, maybe we could have a party together Friday. You know, as a bonding activity, getting to know each other better. It’s always nice to know one another when we have to work together for this long, right?”, she explained her idea shyly.

Immediately all of the theater gang agreed with her, clearly excited at the prospect.

“Great idea, Nini”, Kourtney said.

“We can do it at my place!”, Ashlyn announced.

Everyone sheered her on, remembering last time they had had a party at her place.

“Everybody should bring some food and drinks, though”, Ashlyn said quickly, making everyone laugh.

“Mister Caswell, you should come as well”, Nini said suddenly.

Ricky felt his heart stop at the idea of going to a party with Mister Caswell there, he had no idea whether he would be able to handle that.

EJ was also very surprised at Nini’s proposal. He was happy his students wanted to do this and had been encouraging the idea in his head, but he didn’t think they would actually invite him as well. It probably wouldn’t be appropriate, though.

“Uhm, thank you, Nini, but I’m your teacher. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to go to a party with you”, he explained carefully.

“Oh, come on, Mister Caswell. It’s at Ashlyn’s house and she’s your cousin. Plus, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re our drama teacher, not like out math teacher or something. I’m sure it would be fine. Kourtney and I even went to a karaoke with Miss Jenn last year”, Nini tried to convince EJ.

“Hell yeah, and it was loads of fun. Please Mister Caswell’, Kourtney also stepped in.

A few other students also asked him to come. EJ was panicking a little on the inside. On the one hand he really wanted to go, he thought it was a great idea for everyone to get to know each other and Nini actually made a lot of great points. He and them could always explain this to the principal. But on the other hand, Ricky would be there. Would he be able to handle that? Them being at the same party? At of the context of school? Who knew if he could handle himself?

“Uhm, fine, okay, I’ll come. You’re right that it’s really important for all of us to get to know each other and I actually want to get to know you guys too”, he conceded at last.

EJ was met with some sheers from Nini, Kourtney and Ashlyn, who of course wanted her cousin to be there. But EJ only had eyes for Ricky. The boy was standing at the edge of the group, confusion clearly in his eyes. Did Ricky not want him to come to the party? If that was the case, that would really hurt EJ. He gulped softly and tried to smile at the rest of the students, but inside he was in turmoil. What did he have to do?

Ricky was looking around, unsure of how he was feeling. Somehow, he both desperately wanted Mister Caswell to come and not to come at the same time. Seeing him outside of school would be super weird. How would he act at the party? And would Ricky be able to act appropriately? His mind was full of thoughts.

“ _It’s going to be a long week. How am I going to survive this?”,_ both Ricky and EJ thought at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know this chapter might have been a bit short and/or boring, but I promise good stuff is coming! 
> 
> I am really curious about what you think will happen at the party haha. 
> 
> Comments are always welcomed and appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

Surprisingly, Ricky actually did survive the week. They had had only one other rehearsal that so far in which he managed to not get too distracted by his teacher. Which didn’t mean that he hadn’t been distracted, by the way. But now it was Friday and his procrastinating him leaving to the party, waiting for as long as was socially acceptable.

EJ also managed to survive. He had had a lot more difficulty getting through the rehearsal than Ricky had, doing his best to not stare too much at the boy, or even worse: trying to touch him again. He had been on the verge of a breakdown when he came home afterwards, crying in his couch with a bowl of ice cream. He had felt like such a cliché.

“Hey, EJ”, Ashlyn greeted him as she opened the door.

“Hey, Ash.”

Since Ashlyn was his cousin and the party was at her house, EJ had felt kind of obligated to get there early and help her with the preparations. She was very grateful for his help. EJ, however, still felt very weird to be at this party when he was the teacher.

“We can’t drink alcohol with you here, right?”, Ashlyn askew while laughing.

“You can’t drink alcohol because you aren’t 21”, EJ responded.

“Okay”, Ashlyn laughed. “Luckily, I filled my fridge with root beer. You know, in some European countries you can already drink at 16, that’s not fair.”

“You can drink here as well, as long as it’s not alcohol”, EJ winked.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes at him and smacked him softly on the shoulder.

EJ hadn’t even thought about the alcohol part of a party, he actually might need a beer if he wanted to survive the night, but he couldn’t go drinking around his students. Inside EJ groaned at himself.

One by one people started to arrive at the party. Big Red was the first to arrive, apologizing to Ashlyn that he hadn’t been able to be there early to help her set up.

“Oh, that’s okay, I had EJ to help me”, she smiled at him, before they kissed softly.

Those two really were disgustingly cute, EJ thought to himself, both being happy for her and feeling jealous at the same time. He just really wanted to have someone for himself. His last relationship hadn’t ended well and ever since he felt super alone. Too bad the dating possibilities here weren’t as good as when he was back in New York.

Carlos and Seb were the next ones to get to the party.

“ _Great, another way too adorable couple_ ”, EJ groaned inside again.

A while later, almost everyone had arrived. People were drinking – root beer, EJ had checked – and were talking to each other. Everyone was just scattered around Ashlyn’s living room and kitchen. EJ was sitting by himself on the countertop, not really comfortable to go mingling with his students, unless someone came over to him. But so far, that hadn’t happened.

Also, so far, there was no sign of a curly haired boy EJ was both trying to avoid and wanted to see desperately. This made it really difficult for EJ to know what he was feeling exactly. It was also weird that Ricky wasn’t there yet, since everyone else was already. All of his friends as well: Big Red, Nini, Gina, …

EJ was just pondering about why Ricky wasn’t there yet when Ashlyn opened the door again, revealing no one less than Ricky himself. Speaking of the devil. EJ took another gulp of his root beer, wishing it was real beer for a moment.

Ricky entered Ashlyn’s house; it wasn’t the first he was here. He greeted her happily. Immediately he saw that he must be the last one to arrive, everyone else seemed to be there already. He spotted Nini and Kourtney talking together. Gina was talking with Carlos and Seb.

Then he spotted him, Mister Caswell, sitting on the countertop. Mister Caswell looked away as soon as he saw Ricky looking at him. Wait, had he been watching Ricky enter? Ricky tried to stop himself from blushing (he failed miserably) and noticed how their teacher was sitting alone. He didn’t, however, have to courage to be to one to go talk to him. Even though he really wanted to.

“Hey”, Nini greeted him excitedly when he walked over to her and Kourtney.

“Hey.”

“How come you’re so late?”, Kourtney asked immediately.

“Uhm, had to help my dad with something”, Ricky lied, not wanting to admit that he had been waiting at home because he was too anxious to face his teacher.

“He’s still a mess in the kitchen?”, Nini asked.

“You have no idea”, Ricky grinned, glad they believed him.

Ricky kept on talking with the two girls for a while. He was forcing himself not to like in Mister Caswell’s direction, but he couldn’t help but slip up once in a while. It really was nerve-wrecking and heartbreaking to be so close to his teacher but knowing that nothing could ever happen.

EJ had finally found some company. He was now talking to Ashlyn and Big Red, he was trying to get to know the last one a little bit better. Of course, EJ had really met and talked to Ashlyn’s boyfriend during rehearsals, but still, this was different. He really tried to keep his focus on the conversation but felt his attention and look often slipping to Ricky in the other room. The boy seemed to be in a deep conversation with Nini and Kourtney making him a little jealous of he was being honest. Little did he know, that Ricky also glanced in his direction when he wasn’t looking.

At one point during the party, Ricky had to go to the toilet. The one downstairs was occupied, so he went upstairs to use the other one. Right when he tried to open the door, someone opened it from the inside. Mister Caswell stepped out and almost collided with him.

“Oh”, they both said at the same time. And then: “Sorry.”

Ricky giggled a little nervously, not sure what to do. Mister Caswell seemed a little frozen for a second, before regaining his posture.

“We need to stop running into each other like this”, he laughed.

“It’s only the second time”, Ricky mumbled softly.

“Sorry?”

“Yeah, sorry”, Ricky said a little louder.

The two stood there for a little while, EJ in the door opening, Ricky close in front of him. They just stared at each other.

“Uhm, I really have to go to the bathroom”, Ricky said, breaking the silence after a moment.

“Oh yeah, of course, sorry”, Mister Caswell said.

He stepped out of the door and let Ricky, who quickly walked in and shut the door behind him. Ricky leaned against the door and let out of sigh. What the hell was that?

On the other side of the door EJ let out a sigh as well, not really sure what just happened. He had to hold himself steady against the wall next to the bathroom door for a second. EJ didn’t take too long, though, not wanting to be there when Ricky came out again. He steadied himself and went back downstairs, hoping to be able to avoid the boy for the rest of the night. That would be easier for him.

Later that evening, about half an hour, Ricky was talking to Gina efficiently ignoring his hot teacher. He was really conflicted about how this whole evening was going. On the one hand, he still couldn’t handle facing Mister Caswell. On the other hand, that was all what he wanted to do right now.

Ricky wanted to drink from his root beer again, but noticed his bottle was empty. He looked at Gina and noticed she didn’t have a drink as well.

“I’m going to get another drink, shall I get…”

Suddenly, Ricky saw Mister Caswell standing next to the fridge, talking to Carlos. Their eyes locked for a second, before both of them looked away quickly.

“Actually, could you go get us something to drink?”, Ricky asked instead.

Gina looked at him confused, she frowned at him. Then, she looked at the fridge and saw the problem. She laughed quietly, shaking her head softly. When she looked back at her friend, she had a weird look on her face. Ricky didn’t trust it.

“Go talk to him”, Gina whispered in his ear, to make sure no one heard.

“What? No way!”, Ricky let out, making people look at them.

Gina rolled her eyes and waved the looks of the others away. Then she turned her glare back at Ricky.

“Yes way. This is the perfect opportunity. It’s a party supposed to all get to know each other better. You’re the lead and he’s the director, perfect excuse to go talk to him.”

“But Gina, no way. I can’t talk to him.”

“Why not?”, Gina asked, genuinely curious.

“Just because, Gina.”

Gina raised her eyebrow unimpressed, she clearly meant to say that that wasn’t an excuse at all, and that Ricky should just get over it and talk to Mister Caswell. She rolled her eyes, then, and started shaking her head again. Ricky just sighed but didn’t change his mind. No way, he was going to talk to him. How would he even handle that? What would he even have to say?

EJ frowned his eyebrows as he tried to focus on both his conversation with Carlos and Ricky’s conversation with Gina. Of course, he had heard Ricky’s outburst at Gina, but he had no idea what it was about. Now, he noticed have Gina seemed to be both annoyed and amused with her friend, while Ricky looked to be slightly panicking. EJ wondered whether everything was alright with the boy and suddenly felt himself getting worried.

Carlos, luckily, didn’t seem to notice that EJ wasn’t fully paying attention anymore, he just kept on talking about the dance scenes in the show, updating his teacher he had gotten with all the choreographies. He carefully avoided the dance between Ricky and Nini, though, even though, he had been secretly kept on working on it.

EJ nodded at Gina when she walked up to them at the fridge. Gina took out two bottles of root beer and nodded back at EJ, who desperately wanted to ask her what her conversation with Ricky had been about. But he refrained himself, since he didn’t want to look weird. Although, he really wanted to know.

EJ followed Gina with his eyes when she walked back to drink. He watched as Ricky took the bottle from her and took a large gulp. EJ knew he shouldn’t be doing this and was only making it harder for himself, but he couldn’t help himself and didn’t seem to be able to look away.

“Hey, everyone, I have an idea!”, Nini suddenly exclaimed, motioning for everyone to come closer and gather around her.

EJ frowned again but followed everyone as they did exactly as Nini was asking. Everyone now stood in a circle around her. EJ’s eyes met Ricky’s at the other side of the circle, this time holding eye contact for a little longer.

“How about we play a game together?”, Nini proposed.

“What are you thinking?”, Kourtney asked her.

“How about Never have I ever?”

EJ had no idea if he wanted to play that game, especially with his students. That might just be weird. But everyone else, however, seemed to really excited to play. Suddenly everyone was seated, and drinks were being handed around to make sure everyone had one.

“Uhm, I’ll let you guys play”, EJ announced.

Everyone looked at him in shock.

“What do you mean?”, Nini asked.

“Well, isn’t it a little weird this game with your students?”

“Nonsense, we want you to play”, Kourtney exclaimed.

In the end, EJ conceded and sat down next to Ashlyn. A drink was pressed into his hands. EJ was still holding back a little but had accepted he was playing the game.

The game started out quite easily. Just normal questions were being asked. Big Red went with that he had never been outside of the US, only a couple, like EJ, had to drink to that one, which he actually found surprising. The first couple of rounds were just normal questions like these. Someone who had never ridden a car before, someone who had never cheated on a test before, for example. Kourtney was the first one who tried to spice things up a little, even though it still was quite tame.

“I have never kissed someone before”, she said, even though she had to drink herself.

Ricky, Nini, Big Red, Ashlyn, Carlos, Seb and EJ all had to drink as well. Surprisingly, no one else did. Ricky raised his eyebrows at Gina, who he was sitting next to. She shrugged her shoulders.

“I have never kissed someone of the same gender before”, Nini went next.

Of course, Carlos and Seb drank, so did EJ and to his surprise Ricky did as well. People were looking surprised at the both of them. Except for Ashlyn, of course, who knew about her cousin being gay. She was, however, surprised about Ricky.

“Ricky? How come I didn’t know that? Who? When?”, Nini asked surprised.

“You don’t know him, just someone when I was finding out I might be bisexual”, Ricky shrugged his shoulders.

This was interesting information for EJ, who watched Ricky carefully. So, he actually also likes boys? What EJ didn’t know was that Ricky was also equally surprised that EJ had to drink. Did his teacher really like boys, or had it been a drunken night or something?

The next couple of questions were back to normal, until it was Gina’s turn.

“Never have I ever had a crush on someone of the same gender.”

No one was surprised when Carlos and Seb drank, looking at each other cutely. More surprising, however, was when Ricky and EJ drank. That was, of course, the confirmation both of them needed to know for sure the other liked boys. Even though, EJ already knew after Ricky had said he was bisexual, he still hadn’t known whether had ever actually liked a boy.

“Never have I ever thought about kissing someone in this group”, Ashlyn went next, even though she had to drink herself.

So did her boyfriend and the other couple in this room. Nini and Ricky also had to drink, since they had been together. EJ really didn’t want to but he felt Ashlyn’s eyes on him and tried to drink as sneakily as he could. He almost exceeding, no one called him out on it, but Ashlyn, Gina and Ricky noticed. Ricky felt his ears get red at seeing Mister Caswell drink. What could that mean? Who could that be about?

They played for a couple more rounds, finding out that EJ was the only one who had had sex yet and that no one had ever tried hard drugs, but that there had been some experimentation with weed amongst other things, before they decided it was getting late. People slowly started to leave to get back home.

EJ stayed behind as long as he could, feeling again like he had to help Ashlyn cleaning up. This time, Big Red also stayed behind. Ashlyn was just saying goodbye to Nini, the last one to leave. Ricky had been one of the first to leave the house.

EJ and Big Red were collecting the bottles and putting them in a glass container while Ashlyn was saying goodbye. Nini just kept on talking about how much she had liked the party and how grateful she was they could have done it at Ashlyn’s house.

After fifteen minutes of cleaning up, Ashlyn decided to send EJ home.

“You sure? You know I can stay and help.”, EJ asked, since there was still a lot cleaning to do.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure. Big Red is sleeping over, anyway, we’re doing the rest tomorrow”, Ashlyn nodded.

“Oh, is he staying over now?”, EJ winked at her.

EJ yelped in pain as Ashlyn slapped his shoulder. She rolled her eyes at him. Then, she actually kicked him out of the house.

EJ started walking home slowly, enjoying being alone after the busy party. He didn’t live that far from Ashlyn, so he was glad he had decided to walk. The night air filled his lungs as he took a deep breath. He frowned when he saw someone sitting alone on a wall a little further. He walked a little closer.

“Ricky?”, EJ asked surprised as he saw who it was.

Ricky looked up in surprise as well. He quickly wiped his eyes who were still wet. He clearly had been crying and now tried to hide it from his teacher.

“Are you alright?”, EJ asked.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, my writing speed is slowing down a little. I'm right in the middle of my internship right now, so I don't always have the time to write. I just hope I can write a chapter a week. Let me know what you think!

“I’m fine”, Ricky mumbled, trying to hide his face.

He looked away from Mister Caswell, not wanting his teacher to see him like this. But he felt and heard Mister Caswell sitting down next to him. He sat close to Ricky, because he could vaguely feel him next to him, but Ricky didn’t dare look at him right now.

“No, you’re not”, EJ said softly.

Ricky sobbed and let out a pressured sight, trying to calm down and stop his crying. Of course, he knew he wasn’t alright. He wasn’t sitting outside at this hour and crying for fun. But still, he felt conflicted to talk about it to EJ, especially since his teacher was also part of him being so unhappy.

“It’s alright, you know, to not be alright. I know I’m your teacher, so I understand if you don’t want to, but if you want to talk about, just know that you can”, EJ continued.

“I don’t know”, Ricky mumbled.

He finally dared to look aside, to his teacher. He saw how EJ nodded at him, his eyes were filled with concern and for some reason that made Ricky’s heart break. So, that’s when he broke out in crying again. Ricky started sobbing again and the tears started to run from his eyes again.

“Oh, Ricky”, EJ let out before he even knew it.

EJ didn’t know what to do, exactly. He wanted to console Ricky more than anything, but he had no idea what he could do, especially since he was still Ricky’s teacher and he didn’t know what the boy thought of him. In the end, EJ couldn’t help but wrap his arms around Ricky, hurting too much from seeing his student cry like that.

Ricky felt EJ’s arms coming around and hugging him, before he could help himself, he flung his arms around EJ as well, clinging to him. For some reason, even though Ricky was still crying, it felt so right to be held by EJ and to hold him back in return. EJ was rubbing circles over his back now and making a hushing noise, trying to calm him down. It worked.

“It’s okay”, EJ said softly to Ricky.

Ricky nodded against EJ. His sobbing had slowed down considerably, only occasionally releasing one. His eyes and cheecks were still wet from his tears, but they stopped coming for now.

“You want to talk about it?”, EJ asked again, still holding Ricky inside his hug.

“It’s just… I don’t know… it’s just hard. I just feel so lonely, so damn lonely”, Ricky started rambling, repeating some things he said again and again.

“Hey, it’s okay, easy. What is hard?”, EJ tried to make sense of Ricky’s rambling.

“Just… ever since my mom left, everything’s been so different? And I know she’s been gone for a couple of months now and I still see her sometimes and most days I’m fine, but some days… not so much.”

“It’s a big adjustment, I get it.”

“Yeah, and not only that, I hate her new boyfriend who can’t stand that I’m bisexual, so he doesn’t want to talk to me. And I don’t know, my mom doesn’t exactly defend him, but it’s not like she’s doing anything about it?”

“Oh, wow, Ricky, that must be hard for you indeed. I know how hard it can be when someone doesn’t accept you, it’s fucked up, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it sucks. My dad has yelled at my mom about it, but nothing happened. Todd isn’t welcome at our house anymore.”

“Well, I’m happy you got such a supportive dad”, EJ smiled at Ricky, letting him go now that he noticed Ricky wasn’t crying anymore.

Ricky felt a little sad at the loss of EJ’s arms around him. He tried to linger for as long as possible without it becoming weird, but eventually he had to let go. It just felt so right for them to fit together. Ricky was also relieved he could talk to EJ like this, finally getting some things out of his system he didn’t want to talk to Nini about.

“Is there a reason it’s so difficult for you tonight? Why you had to think about it?”, EJ asked.

“I don’t know, I guess it just felt weird to see Ashlyn and Big Red, and Carlos and Seb so happy. I don’t know why, because I see them happy almost every day at school and I’m really happy for them. It’s just, at moments like that, parties and stuff, I miss having someone myself. And then sometimes I got jealous, or sad, or jealous and sad”, Ricky explained, shrugging his shoulders.

“I get it”, EJ nodded, sighing a little and staring in the distance.

He clearly recognized the feeling Ricky had just described, having felt it himself at the party as well.

“You do?”, Ricky asked.

EJ just nodded and looked at Ricky almost shyly, not really wanting to admit that he recognized the feeling, especially since it was strengthened because of Ricky’s presence, but also not really able to deny. Ricky looked at him intensely and EJ felt like he couldn’t look away, brown eyes staring into green ones.

“It’s also always harder when there is someone you like, but you know it can never be something. And then you not only have to do deal with feeling lonely, you also have to deal with heartbreak as well.”

“Oh, uhm.”

EJ coughed a little, scraping his throat as he broke eye contact, no longer being able to look Ricky in the eye. What the hell was happening? EJ couldn’t believe what was going on right now.

“Yeah, uhm, that’s hard indeed.”

“Yeah”, Ricky sighed, still staring at EJ.

The two sat down in silence for a while. They might not be hugging anymore, but Ricky made sure they were still sitting so close together, their sides were actually touching. It was weird how at ease Ricky suddenly felt with his teacher, definitely when you considered EJ was half the reason he had been crying. Not being able to be with who he liked, really tore at Ricky’s heart. But now… Ricky didn’t know, but there was something going on, something that made him belief that maybe, maybe, EJ might not be so unattainable after all.

EJ, on the other hand, was feeling very conflicted. He felt so happy to share this moment with Ricky, even though it was because of unhappy reasons, he felt special to be able to share this with the boy. But he was also seriously starting to panic, he had no idea how many lines he had crossed as a teacher, how many lines he had crossed with Ricky. He needed to end this, he couldn’t be doing this with his student any longer, no matter how badly he wanted to.

“Uhm, do you live far away?”

“Yeah, kind of, I need to walk for like at least another twenty minutes. I should’ve brought my skateboard.”

Ricky felt kind of disappointed EJ had to end this moment between, it had felt so right to Ricky. But he guessed EJ must feel guilty, since he still was his teacher. Maybe Ricky needed to do something about that feeling EJ had.

“Oh, yeah, that’s a while. I live like two minutes away from here, if you come with me, I could give you a ride? My car is at my place. If that’s okay with you, of course, I understand if you find that weird or inappropriate. Is it inappropriate? Maybe… I’m sorry I asked, maybe I shouldn’t have. Is this weird? I’m sorry if it’s weird”, EJ started rambling, not really sure where his thoughts were going, except for all over the place.

“Thank you, that’s really sweet, I’d love a ride”, Ricky interrupted him, stopping EJ’s stream of thoughts and words.

“Oh, okay, yeah, great. Let’s go then.”

EJ stood up quickly, not knowing what to do with himself anymore. Ricky also stood up and looked at EJ expectantly, looking at him to show the way. EJ just stood there for a second, trying to collect his thoughts. He blinked a couple of times and shook his head.

“Right. This way”, he said and started walking.

Ricky followed him quickly. At first, he stayed a couple of steps behind, taking a moment to really look at his teacher. It was no wonder he had fallen so quickly. Ricky still couldn’t believe it, this entire situation, but he knew he couldn’t just do nothing about what he felt.

“Thanks for the talk”, Ricky said, when he caught up to EJ.

EJ looked at him in surprise, being pulled from his thoughts by Ricky. Then he smiled warmly at the boy, glad he could help him, and happy Ricky was happy again. Or at least, happier.

“My pleasure. If you ever need someone to talk to, my door is always open.”

“Thanks”, Ricky smiled back, relieved he had gotten everything out of his system.

Well, almost everything. The rest of their trip they spent in silence, a comfortable one. Both boys happy with the moment they had just shared, even though EJ still felt very conflicted at the situation. Had he overstepped any lines? He still wasn’t sure. Ricky brushed his hand on purpose against EJ’s hand, making it look like it was accidental. He smiled softly when he felt EJ’s hand brush against his two seconds later.

Then they arrived at EJ’s apartment complex. EJ stopped in front of it and looked at Ricky.

“This is me”, he said. “Well, on the third floor is me.”

Ricky looked up at the building. It looked nice, but not really what he was expecting. Actually, he had no idea what he had been expecting, but probably a house and not an apartment. He knew Ashlyn’s parents where loaded and he had just assumed EJ’s must be too. Or maybe it wasn’t so weird that EJ lived in an apartment when he was just living alone after graduating.

“My car’s is in the garage”, EJ said, his hands in his pockets, trying to find the keys.

When he found them, EJ turned around and started to walk towards the garage door, but Ricky’s voice stopped him.

“EJ?”

EJ turned around, surprised that Ricky had called him by his name and also not really sure what Ricky’s question could be.

“Yeah?”

Ricky was looking at the ground, trying to collect his breathing. Suddenly, he was super nervous, and he tried to calm himself down. EJ frowned at the look of Ricky, he thought he had been feeling better, but the way he looked now, wasn’t really comforting.

“What is it, Ricky?”, EJ asked, concern clear in his voice.

“You know that, uhm, that… you know that, uhm, uhm that…”, Ricky started saying, still looking at the ground, his breathing still a little harder than necessary.

“What do I know?”, EJ asked softly, trying to steer Ricky in the right direction.

Finally, Ricky looked up at EJ, straight in his eyes. He took a deep breath to finally collect all his courage and calm down his nerves. He was just going to say it.

“You know that, when I said it’s harder when there is someone you like, but you can’t be together? I was talking about you.”

“Oh.”

EJ didn’t know what to say, he just froze and Ricky’s words still needed to sink in. Was this really happening? Did the boy, who happened to be his student, who he had liked so much just said he liked him back? The boy he could never begin something with because he was his student? He knew Ashlyn had already said there was a chance Ricky liked him back, but he never actually believed it. Plus, there was no way he could ever go for it. But now, … now, Ricky was coming on to him. Could he…

EJ’s train of thoughts got broken again when Ricky stood on his toes to reach EJ and softly placed his lips against EJ’s. EJ froze even harder when he felt those lips on his, not expecting it at all and not really sure what to do. When Ricky felt EJ’s hesitation, he pulled back as fast as he could.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I just thought that… I just thought I felt something in return. Sorry, I shouldn’t…”

But Ricky got cut off when EJ kissed him again, cupping the back of his head with his right hand. The rest of Ricky’s apologies were lost somewhere between his own lips and EJ’s before he started kissing back eagerly.

“ _Oh my god, is this really happening?_ ”, went through both of their minds at the same time.

Ricky’s hand grasped at EJ’s hair, threading his fingers in it. He didn’t pull, but EJ moaned softly at the feeling. Lips where slowly moving against each other as if they had all the time in the world. Ricky now moaned as well. It had been a long time since he had kissed someone like this, since his break-up with Nini. For EJ it had also been a while, maybe even longer than it had been for Ricky.

It was Ricky who took the first step to deepen the kiss. Opening his mouth slowly and softly pushing his tongue against EJ’s still closed lips. EJ doubted for a fraction of a second, he was still kissing a student, but he immediately figured he didn’t care. Not at the moment, at least. EJ opened his mouth and let Ricky in.

Their tongues were caressing each other inside EJ’s mouth. Ricky discovered EJ’s palate by slowly stroking against it, before he wrapped his tongue around EJ’s again. EJ put his left hand on Ricky’s hip and pulled him even closer. That was when EJ decided it was his turn and pushed Ricky’s tongue out of his mouth by pushing his own into Ricky’s. Just like Ricky had done, EJ explored the boy’s mouth by slowly going everywhere with his tongue.

Ricky broke the kiss a couple seconds later, but immediately attached his lips at EJ’s jawline, slowly moving down towards his throat. EJ groaned first at the loss of Ricky’s warm mouth, but moaned again when he felt the lips on his skin.

“Oh, Ricky”, he let out, closing his eyes.

Ricky enjoyed the feeling of hot skin under his mouth. He took his hands out of EJ’s hair and moved them to his teacher’s hips. Their pelvises were pressed together with no space between them. Ricky felt EJ getting harder and harder inside his pants. The same thing was going on inside his own.

“Okay, okay, Ricky, Ricky”, EJ interrupted their make-out session.

Ricky pulled back and looker at his teacher with disappointment clear in his eyes. EJ took a second to collect his breathing. He scratched his neck.

“That was… something… wow, uhm, but maybe I need to get you home?”

“Oh, uhm, didn’t you like it”, Ricky asked a little unsure.

“Oh no, no, no, yes, I did. Really much and I’d love to continue. But, uhm, it’s late and maybe we should get some sleep? Talk about this tomorrow before we do something we regret?”

Ricky had to think for a second, maybe Mister Caswell was right. It was already super late, and they still needed to talk about this. This thing going on right now. EJ looked at Ricky expectantly, waiting for him to say something.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right”, Ricky conceded.

EJ nodded and smiled at Ricky, who smiled back. Then they finally went to the car. EJ sat behind the wheel with Ricky next to him in the passenger’s seat. The whole ride Ricky couldn’t help but keep looking at EJ, smiling smugly when he thought about their kiss, which was the entire car ride.

They stopped in front of Ricky’s house. Both boys looked at each other, neither one of them wanting to get out.

“So, we’ll talk about this tomorrow?”, EJ asked.

Ricky just nodded.

“Okay, you can come to my apartment, you know where I live now. Then we can talk this trough. Just text me when you leave.”

“I don’t have your number”, Ricky said.

“Right, give me your phone.”

Ricky did and EJ put his number in his phone. When he gave it back, their hands lingered. Then, Ricky leaned forward and placed his lips on EJ’s again. The kiss lasted for about three seconds before Ricky pulled back, unfastened his seatbelt and opened his door.

“See you tomorrow, Mister Caswell”, Ricky said with a smirk, hanging through the car door.

Then he closed it and walked towards his house. He waved one last time before he closed the door behind him and disappeared. EJ just kept on staring at where the boy had been before he went inside. He needed a minute before he managed to start his car again and drove away. What had he gotten himself into?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry it took me this long to update. I have just been so terribly busy these last few weeks, you have no idea, I'm getting slightly overworked. But anyway, here is a new update. I really hope you like it. It's not really that much, but I just really wanted to update again cause I missed writing it. Comments are always welcome!

EJ was sort of, maybe, kind of a little bit nervous. Oh, who was he kidding? He was fucking terrified. He was walking around in his apartment, unable to sit still. Every time he sat down, he stood up immediately again. Sometimes he stood on one place, but then his hands would be moving around. EJ had no idea what he should think. On the one hand, he was super excited for Ricky to come over in fifteen minutes or something, having sent a message five minutes ago. On the other hand, he was still super afraid of what this would mean for his job. Would he be fired? They definitely needed to keep this tired until the end of the year.

Were his clothes okay? EJ suddenly started doubting everything again. He looked down at his attire. He had chosen simple, grey jeans and a nice blue shirt. Nothing wrong with it, right? Right?? Why was he freaking out so much about this? EJ just wanted everything to go alright. Fifteen minutes, right? Maybe ten by now. EJ sat down on a chair and let out a sigh. Then, he stood up again. Should he make some tea?

Ricky stood in front of the apartment. His skateboard in his hand and his phone in the other. Ricky wasn’t exactly nervous, but he also couldn’t really say that he didn’t feel any nerves at all. He could do this. Now, he knew Mister Caswell… EJ, liked him back. Their kiss last night had proven that. What could go wrong? With one last sigh he pressed the bell.

EJ jumped up when he heard the bell ringing. As fast as he could he ran to the open the front door. He waited patiently (no, not exactly patiently) for Ricky to come up to his floor. As soon as Ricky rang the bell, EJ opened the door. He had been waiting right behind it.

“Hey”, Ricky smiled softly, he looked so happy to be seeing EJ again.

“Hey”, EJ smiled back, his nerves almost immediately disappearing as soon as he saw the boy.

Ricky walked inside and sat himself down in the sofa EJ pointed to. He looked around the apartment curiously, but also, because he was sort of trying to avoid EJ’s eyes. His nerves weren’t completely gone yet.

“You want something to drink?”, EJ asked, raising his eyebrow. “I can make some tea if you want. Or something cold? I have water, coca-cola, uhm…”

“Tea would be nice, thank you.”

“Okay, on it.”

Ricky waited patiently for EJ to make the tea, tapping his foot softly. He was still looking around. EJ had a nice apartment. Simple, but everything he needed was there. Ricky looked up as EJ placed the mug in front of him, smiling softly. EJ took his own mug and sat down at the other side of the couch. For a moment, it was quiet between the two of them as they sipped their tea.

“Soooooo”, Ricky broke the silence between them.

“Yeah”, EJ said, but kept quiet afterwards.

Ricky broke out in laughter, both of them feeling nervous about what was about to happen. Ricky placed his mug back on the coffee table after taking another sip and looked at EJ, there was a small smile on his face. EJ looked back at him.

“I think we have some things to talk through”, Ricky said.

“I think we do”, EJ responded, feeling like he should be the one taking the lead instead, but on the other hand very happy that Ricky was doing it.

“We kissed last night”, Ricky stated, leaving the sentence hanging in the air.

“We did”, EJ smiled.

“I would like it if we could do that again some time”, Ricky said boldly.

EJ let out a laugh, throwing his head back and closing his eyes for a second. Then he looked at Ricky again, a soft expression on his face.

“So, would I. But I think it’s really important if we figure this out first. Because, you know, it’s kind of a complicated situation, isn’t it?”

Ricky nodded his agreement but kept quiet. He drew his legs up on the couch and slung his arm over the back. Now, he was completely turned to EJ. He laid his head on his arm on the couch and just looked at EJ.

“I’m your teacher, sort of, and you’re a student.”

“I know.”

“So, actually, we, uhm, can’t really date if we follow the rules.”

“I’m of age. Our age difference is only four years or something?”

“I know, I know, but you’re still a student at the school I’m working at. So, if we want to do this, we, uhm, can’t tell anyone. We will have to keep this hidden from everyone, cause, you know, I don’t want to lose my job and I don’t think you want to be expelled in your senior year…”

Ricky shook his head in agreement. He looked like he was thinking deeply.

“So, if we… if we want to do this. We are going to have to be very careful.”

“No, yeah, I get that. But, just, I really like you and I’ve never liked someone as fast as I liked you and, I don’t know, I don’t want to ignore that anymore now that I know that you actually like me back.”

“So, are we doing this? Us? Together? But without telling anyone?”

“I think we should do this”, Ricky smiled.

“Okay, then I think we should do this as well”, EJ smiled back.

“Then can we finally kiss now?”

“We can”, EJ smiled.

“Thank God.”

Ricky crawled across the couch and placed his lips on EJ’s. Finally. He felt how EJ’s fingers threaded themselves through his curls. Ricky laid himself fully down on EJ now, their bodies flush against each other, their legs intertwining. It just felt right to do so, like their bodies were meant to fit together like that. But it was also weird for Ricky, since it was the first time he was with a boy. Of course, it felt different than being with a girl. No breasts between their chests, for example. Or the fact that EJ was taller. Ricky liked it very much, though.

It was EJ who deepened the kiss, sticking his tongue out of his mouth and asking Ricky for entrance, who let him in happily. Ricky’s hand now also found EJ’s hair, slightly tugging on his short, black hair. While EJ’s hands started roaming from Ricky’s hair all over his body. Softly stroking over Ricky’s clothes before they ended up on Ricky’s ass and groping it strongly. Ricky moaned inside EJ’s mouth when he felt those strong hands on his ass.

They made out for a few more minutes before EJ pulled back. He looked Ricky softly in the eyes with a small and happy smile on his face. Ricky looked back with the same content expression on face. For about half a minute they just looked into each other’s eyes.

“Where does your dad think you are now?”, EJ asked.

“Oh, uhm, at Gina’s”, Ricky responded, blushing lightly.

EJ laughed softly at Ricky’s blushing and stared at him fondly. Ricky blushing was one of the cutest things he had ever seen. Ricky laid himself down, resting his head on EJ’s chest and sighing happily. EJ started stroking Ricky’s hair softly, almost like he wasn’t thinking about it.

“Isn’t it weird how easy I found this? Like, it feels so natural now, especially after trying to fight it so hard”, EJ said.

Ricky looked up to his face, still resting his chin on EJ’s chest, before laying his head down again.

“Yeah, I find this incredibly easy as well. It just feels right. I’m happy we did something about it”, Ricky smiled softly.

“What time do you need to be home?”, EJ asked.

“I don’t know really. By dinner, probably, but maybe not even by then. If I ask my dad to stay over at Gina’s, I’m sure that would be fine with my dad.”

“Oh okay, nice. What do you want to do today?”, EJ asked again.

Ricky frowned slightly, he actually had no idea. He hadn’t thought so far in the future. His main concern had been to get EJ to agree. So, he told EJ he didn’t know, which made EJ laugh.

“What do you usually do on a Saturday?”

“Study, probably, or game but you don’t really look like a gaming kind of guy.”

“Not really. And I don’t think studying now would a fun activity”, EJ laughed.

Ricky agreed wholeheartedly. He laughed on EJ’s chest. Then, Ricky started tracing shapes with his fingers on EJ’s chest. Just random shapes with no meaning. It was silent between them for a few seconds.

“Actually, just lying here with you is kind of nice”, Ricky concluded.

EJ smiled softly and looked up at the ceiling, his hand that had stilled in Ricky’s hair, started moving again.

“I agree.”

So, that’s what they did for a while longer. Ricky just laid down on EJ, his head resting on his chest. EJ laid on the couch with Ricky on top of him, his hand softly stroking Ricky’s hair. They talked a lot with each other. About their families, about their hobbies and about their lives so far. EJ told Ricky about some of his college experiences in New York. Ricky listened to them with great interest.

“What made you come back?”

“I don’t know, I really loved it in New York and maybe I want to go back. But, I knew from Ashlyn there would be a position available here and, I don’t know, it seemed like a good place to start.”

“You want to go back to New York?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? Depends probably.”

“On?”

“Lots of things”, EJ laughed.

A little while later they both fell asleep in each other arms. Just the two of them lying together on the couch. Ricky’s head rose up on down together with EJ’s breathing, his hand was flat on his chest. EJ’s hand was still in Ricky’s hair. In the end, it was EJ’s phone that woke them up.

“Shit”, EJ cursed when he woke up.

Ricky opened his eyes confusedly and had to move away quickly because EJ started getting up from the couch to get to his phone. EJ hastily picked up and placed the phone at his ear.

“Hello? Ashlyn?”

Ricky watched at EJ having a conversation with his cousin. It seemed like a very one-sided conversation because EJ wasn’t saying and just seemed to be listening to Ashlyn.

“I don’t know, Ash.”

“Okay, okay, but…”

“No, but…”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

“Me? I’m just, uhm, working at home.”

They talked for a couple more minutes, before EJ saw Ricky sitting on his couch and got a fond smile on his face. Shortly after that he ended the call with Ashlyn and hung up. He put his phone in his pocket and just stood there staring at Ricky, because of their nap, it felt like EJ had to convince himself again that this really happened today.

“You want to have dinner together? We could order pizza or something?”, he asked.

“Yeah, sure”, Ricky answered happily. “Let me just call my dad.”

EJ nodded as Ricky took his own phone out of his pocket, quickly dialing his dad’s number. He waited a few seconds before his dad picked up.

“Hey Dad! I was wondering if I could stay for dinner at Gina’s?”, Ricky asked.

EJ was watching Ricky on the phone the same way Ricky had been watching him a minute ago. Ricky was talking softly to his dad. It seemed like he was allowed to stay.

“Do I want to sleep over?”, Ricky asked his dad surprised after his dad had made the suggestion.

Ricky looked over at EJ, raising a questioning eyebrow.

“Do I want to sleep over?”, Ricky asked EJ, pretending to ask Gina.

EJ just shrugged, he couldn’t really say anything, or Ricky’s dad would knew he wasn’t at Gina’s.

“If that’s okay with you”, he mouthed, without making an actual noise.

Ricky seemed like he had to think for a second. Wasn’t that like, really fast? He and EJ had only just decided they were going to try this together. But then again, why not?

“Yeah, sure, I’d like to sleep over. I’m sure I can lend something here to sleep in.”

After that Ricky ended the conversation with his dad quickly and looked at EJ excitedly with a big smile on his face. EJ was smiling back at him.

“Guess I’m staying over.”

“Guess you are. I’m sure I can find something for you to sleep in. Or nothing, maybe you can wear nothing to sleep in”, EJ winked at Ricky, who promptly started blushing again.

After that, they ordered pizza together. They watched some tv until it arrived and ate together while watching some more. Both Ricky and EJ had a great time and laughed a lot with each other. They goofed around with each other, getting to know each other a bit better and just greatly enjoying the company.

When they decided to actually go to bed together, EJ found Ricky something to wear.

“You don’t have to wear it, though”, EJ said while handing Ricky the boxers and an old T-shirt.

Again, Ricky blushed, but he thanked EJ while thanking the clothes. They brushed their teeth together, but took turns in the bathroom to change. Then, they ended up under the covers together. For a while, they laid down softly staring at each other, a small smile on both on their faces. Then, their lips found each other again.

Before they knew it, they were making out heavily. Both of them groaning and moaning into each other’s mouth. EJ straddled Ricky’s lap and hung over him, while their hands roamed the other’s body, kneading and groping whatever they could reach. Ricky had his hands on EJ’s hands, when EJ took them and held them together above his head. Ricky found it really hot for some reason that EJ was restraining him. He had nowhere to go with EJ on top of him and his hands held together. Ricky groaned again.

EJ pulled back, nipped at Ricky’s lips again a couple of times, and then pulled back for real. He looked down at a panting Ricky who was looking up at him. His face was red and his breaths were coming out rapidly. Ricky looked up quite disappointed though that EJ had stopped. His hands were still being held above his head. EJ had a soft, but at the same time horny smile on his face.

“Would it be too soon if we…?”, EJ asked panting himself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me this long to update again. I know it wasn't as long as last time, but still... It's just so incredibly busy right now and life has been an absolute bitch lately and everything kinda sucks right now. The holiday special with Joshua and Matt's duet was amazing, though, something good in my last few weeks haha. But I also managed to finish another chapter! So, I hope you guys like it. 
> 
> Warning: the next chapter is quite graphic ;), so beware.

Ricky looked up with a shocked expression, of course, he knew what EJ was talking about. Would it be? They only got together today, like literally today. And with their age difference… But on the other hand, why not? He was already staying over, he was already sleeping in EJ’s bed, they had already made out a lot. Maybe it was fast, but it wasn’t his first relationship and he guessed it wasn’t EJ’s either. They decided how fast they could go, right? But it would be Ricky’s first time with a guy…

EJ saw Ricky’s shocked and thinking expression, his stomach dropped a little. Shit he had gone too far, he should not have suggested this, it was way too soon for this. What was he thinking? Why did he already have to fuck shit up? Ricky was only 18, that was still quite young, and he was still in high school. He was still his student… Besides, he didn’t even know if Ricky had ever had sex with a guy before. He couldn’t rush this on him.

“I’m sorry! Sorry! I understand it’s too soon. I shouldn’t have suggested it, I know it’s fast. That’s okay. I’m sorry. I was just getting carried away and I was horny… But, sorry, I understand”, EJ started rambling.

He let go of Ricky’s hands and put some distance between them. EJ felt terribly guilty he asked the question. Now Ricky would be mad at him. Maybe he could sleep on the couch so he wouldn’t make it even more awkward.

“No”, Ricky said suddenly, sitting up at the same time.

Suddenly and firmly, like he had made a final decision as he looked at EJ determined. EJ nodded his head understandingly. Of course, Ricky would tell him no. EJ started shuffling away from Ricky, trying to get as much space between them as possible to make Ricky feel more at ease. Ricky’s hand grabbing his, stopped him, however.

“I meant,” Ricky said slowly, looking EJ firmly in the eyes with a cheeky grin on his face, “I meant ‘no, it’s not too soon’.”

_Oh_. EJ looked at Ricky a little surprised and a little in shock. He wasn’t entirely sure he heard the boy correctly. Did he really just say…?

“You sure?”, EJ asked, concern in his eyes.

EJ knew he had asked the question, but still, he wanted Ricky to be sure. He didn’t want Ricky to do something he would regret later, especially in a situation as complex as theirs. EJ would hate himself if he and Ricky did something now that would make Ricky regret everything between later. They had only been together for one day after all.

“I’m sure. Very sure. I know it’s soon, very soon, but … I don’t know, it just feels right. It feels right to do this with you know and I’m sure I want to. I want to do this with you.”

“I just don’t want you to regret this later. I don’t want us to go too fast or something, I don’t want to ruin us before we even started.”

“I won’t regret this. I’m sure. I want to.”

“Okay.”

Ricky looked EJ deep in the eyes, brown into blue-green, to make him feel he meant it. He needed EJ to understand that he really wanted this. When he saw that reflected in EJ’s eyes, Ricky connected their lips. Softly and carefully at first, just slowly building up the moment again. Ricky’s hand found EJ’s hair and he treaded his fingers through the black strands. EJ slowly rose his own hands and laid them carefully on Ricky’s shoulder and hip, pushing himself closer again at the same time. It was just lips, for now, but the heat between the both of them slowly started coming back.

EJ softly pushed against Ricky, not only with his hands, but with his entire body. Slowly, Ricky let himself be pushed backwards, held steady by EJ’s hands, until he was lying on his back on the bed again, EJ hovering over him. Their lips and hands still connecting them to each other. EJ exhaled loudly through his nose, giving one firm kiss, before he pulled back again.

“Is this your first time with a boy?”

“My first time ever”, Ricky responded.

EJ was taken aback by that answer, he sort of already knew it was Ricky’s first time with a boy, but he had expected that he and Nini might have done some stuff together. Now, he wasn’t really that sure anymore he wanted to take Ricky’s virginity like this. Ricky noticed EJ’s hesitation and placed his hand on his cheek, softly stroking it with his thumb. Then he placed his forehead against EJ’s.

“Hey, I’m happy it’s my first time. I’m happy my first time is with you. I want to be you, okay?”

“Okay.”

Ricky kissed EJ against, who responded eagerly. This time, their tongues found each other again, softly stroking against one another. They explored each other’s mouth again, having done so a couple times already today. When Ricky laid down again, his hands immediately found their way underneath EJ’s sleeping shirt. He started roaming his body, getting hornier the longer he touched and kissed EJ. EJ felt how Ricky started stroking his body and softly moaned into Ricky’s mouth where the sound got swallowed.

Ricky just really needed to get EJ’s shirt of by now, so that’s what he did. He hastily started pulling on the garment, making his intentions clear to the older boy. EJ broke away from the kiss, taking his tongue out of Ricky’s mouth and raised his arms. Ricky finally pulled of the shirt and threw it away in a direction, he didn’t care which one or where it would land. Then he pulled EJ’s head down again to continue their kissing. EJ, however, had different ideas. Now he started fumbling with his shirt that Ricky was wearing. He found it hot that Ricky was wearing his clothes, but right now, he would find it even hotter if Ricky wasn’t wearing any clothes at all.

Ricky laughed softly as he broke their kiss once again and let EJ take off his T-shirt. When EJ came down again, after throwing the shirt in more or less the same direction as his own had been thrown into, their naked chest rubbed together. Both boys moaned loudly when they felt each other’s skin. They had felt each other earlier today, but not like this, only with their hands and with their shirts still on.

“Is it still okay?”, EJ asked, just to be sure, he didn’t want Ricky to do something he didn’t want to, he could still change his mind.

“Very okay”, Ricky responded, pressing their lips together again.

EJ went with the kiss for a couple more seconds, enjoying the feeling of Ricky’s lips and tongue against his. Then, his hands started to wonder lower and lower and Ricky’s body, until they rested on the elastic band of Ricky’s boxers.

“Can I…?”, EJ asked, raising his eyebrows.

Ricky just nodded. He closed his eyes as EJ pulled the boxers off and wrapped his hand around Ricky’s dick. EJ slowly started pumping his hand up and down over Ricky’s shaft, who moaned at the feeling. EJ’s mouth found Ricky’s again while he kept and moving his hand up and down, he swallowed Ricky’s moans in his own mouth.

“This still okay?”, EJ asked with their lips pressed together.

“Yes, please don’t stop”, Ricky panted.

So, EJ didn’t. He even sped up his tempo, making Ricky groan. Ricky was staring up at the ceiling, EJ laying half on top of him, half next to him as he continued to give him the best handjob he had ever received. Granted it was only his second handjob ever, but still, the difference between them was huge. EJ clearly knew how to handle a dick.

When Ricky felt his orgasm coming suddenly, he pushed EJ’s hand away. He lay on his back panting for a while as EJ stared at him with a soft look in his eyes and a smile on his lips. When Ricky felt like he had avoided cumming to soon, he looked at EJ again. He rolled them around until he was laying on top of EJ, switching their places. Ricky kissed EJ once more on the lips before his mouth started travelling downwards.

Ricky softly kissed his way down over EJ’s neck, his chest, his abdomen, until he reached the fabric of EJ’s briefs. He halted for a second, before he looked up, the question clear in his eyes. EJ nodded slowly as some air escaped through his mouth. Ricky wasted no time pulling off EJ’s briefs. Then, he waited for a second as he just stared at EJ’s dick for a second. He had never been so close to someone else’ dick. He hadn’t even been this close to his own dick with his face. For some reason, he never thought he could find a cock so beautiful.

Ricky gathered his courage and grabbed EJ’s already hard dick in his hand. He moved his hand up and down a couple of times, smiling pleased as he heard EJ softly moaning above him. Then he did something he hadn’t even expected he would do himself: he wrapped his lips around EJ’s head. EJ almost shot up in surprise and moaned loudly as Ricky slowly started bobbing his head up and down as far as he could.

“Oh my god, Ricky, that feels so great”, EJ let out.

“You sure you want to do this?”, he asked a couple of seconds later.

Ricky popped EJ’s dick out his mouth and smiled cockily at EJ, before he put the dick inside his mouth again. Now, he looked EJ in the eyes while he went up and down on EJ’s dick. EJ let out a groan and his hands found their way into Ricky’s curls, gripping them, being careful he didn’t grip too hard. Ricky moan softly at the feeling of EJ pulling his hair. It was hotter than he ever imagined it would be. Ricky did his best to make the blowjob as pleasurable as he could, but since it was his first time, he couldn’t take that much of EJ’s dick in his mouth before his gag reflex started to kick in. EJ, however, didn’t seem to mind at all. Ricky’s enthusiasm was more than making up for his lack of experience. He moaned from time to time and pulled some more on Ricky’s hair.

Just like Ricky, EJ felt his orgasm arriving faster than he would like, and he definitely didn’t want to come just yet. So, that’s why EJ pulled off Ricky’s head as soon as he felt his orgasm approaching. Ricky looked up at him surprised at first, before getting an understanding look in his eyes. Ricky moved up the bed again until his head was at the same height as EJ’s, then he placed his lips on EJ’s again. At first, it felt a little weird for EJ to be kissing Ricky so soon after the blowjob, being able to taste himself on Ricky’s tongue, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t experienced that before. So, EJ just gave his all in their kiss.

“What do you want to do?”, EJ asked after he pulled about a minute later.

“What do you mean?”, Ricky asked with a confused look on his face.

“I mean… do you want to stop now? Or do you want to continue and go all the way?”

“I want to continue”, Ricky responded immediately, no doubt in his voice.

“Okay. And what do you want to do?”

“Uhm, do?”

“Do you want to give or take? I usually give, that’s what I like the most, but it’s your first time. I don’t want you to do something your uncomfortable with, so… What do you want to do?”

Ricky had no idea why he hadn’t thought of his before. Okay, they had very spontaneously decided to have sex just now, but still… When EJ had asked him if he wanted to go all the way, there had been no doubt that he wanted to, but somehow, he hadn’t thought about what that would actually entail. What did he want to do?

“I want to take”, he said after some seconds to think about it.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I want you to fuck me.”

EJ smiled at him before they connected their lips again. EJ felt like he would never ever get tired of feeling Ricky’s lips against his. Slowly, EJ reached with his hands towards his nightstand. It was difficult to do when he couldn’t see and his lips were pressed to Ricky’s, but after some attempts, he managed to open the first drawer and get out the lube and a condom. He took the items on the bed. EJ broke the kiss and press his forehead against Ricky’s.

“Okay, I have to prepare you first, otherwise it’s going to hurt way too much.”

Ricky nodded his head. He let EJ direct him onto his back again. Ricky sighed before he let EJ lift his legs up in the air and he felt how a pillow was pushed underneath his ass. EJ opened the bottle of lube and put some on his hands. He made sure Ricky could see what he was doing the entire time. First, he circled his fingers around Ricky’s hole, spreading the lube and making Ricky’s muscles relax.

“Okay, breathe in and as you breath out, I’m going to push in my first finger, okay? I promise I’ll be careful.”

Ricky nodded and inhaled deeply. He held his breath for a second as he looked EJ in the eyes. Then he slowly started to exhale. As he did that, he felt how EJ pushed in the first knuckle of his index finger. Ricky was so surprised by the feeling he suddenly let out all of his air.

“Oh”, he gasped.

EJ meanwhile made a shushing noise as he slowly and softly moved his finger deeper inside. With his other hand he massaged Ricky’s tight to calm him down even more. He told Ricky to relax before he slowly started to pull out his finger again.

Ricky just focused on his breathing in the beginning, looking up at the ceiling and putting all his attention to inhaling and exhaling. When he felt like he had everything under control, he started to focus on the feeling of EJ’s finger going up and down his asshole. Now that he was calm, he noticed that he actually liked the feeling. It took a bit of getting used to and it felt weird, but a good weird.

EJ took his time preparing Ricky, he definitely didn’t want to go too fast and hurt the boy. He also took his time to enjoy preparing Ricky himself, he actually really liked fingering Ricky open. EJ only added a second finger when he felt Ricky was ready and a third one a couple of minutes later, again, only after he felt Ricky was ready.

Ricky was gasping and moaning as EJ’s three finger moved in and out his asshole. He was grabbing the sheets and started to sweat really hard. He raised his head and looked at EJ, who was looking at him calmly, but also with a horny look in his eyes. His one hand was inside Ricky’s ass, his other was stroking himself to keep himself hard for what was to come.

“I’m ready. Please, I’m ready”, Ricky started muttering to EJ, unable to keep himself together.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, please, I’m ready. Just… just fuck me already.”

“How do you want to do this? Which position, I mean?”

“Just like this, so I can see you.”

“Okay.”

EJ took out his fingers, Ricky groaned at the sudden empty feeling. Ricky looked up at the ceiling, anticipating what was to come. EJ, meanwhile, took out the condom of his wrapper, before rolling it over his dick. He stroked himself a couple of times, putting new lube on himself and on Ricky’s ass. As Ricky felt EJ’s head at his entrance, he looked up again. Their eyes connected as EJ slowly pushed the head inside. Both of them moaned instantly. Ricky overwhelmed by the feeling of EJ’s actual dick in his ass, EJ overwhelmed by the feeling of Ricky’s warm, tight and virgin asshole around his dick.

EJ gave Ricky a minute to get used to just the feeling of his head inside him, before he pushed in further. Slowly, rushing anything. Achingly slow he kept on pushing until he was fully inside, until he felt he balls resting on Ricky’s ass cheeks. There he stopped again. Ricky was breathing heavily, but he got interrupted as EJ pressed their mouths together again, trying to distract Ricky.

“Is this okay?”, EJ asked.

Ricky was still for a second, before he nodded his head. Then he pressed his face inside EJ’s neck, panting softly.

“Can you move, please?”

Ricky asked, his lips moving against EJ’s skin. EJ just nodded, before he slowly started to pull out.

“Oh”, Ricky gasped softly as he felt EJ’s movement.

EJ took his time pulling out his dick, making sure he wouldn’t hurt Ricky. Ricky pressed his eyes closed against EJ’s neck and kept on gasping softly. When EJ was almost all the way out, he slowly started pushing in again. Everything at a slow pace, no rushing involved.

“Does it hurt?”, EJ asked once he was fully inside again.

“Only a little? But it also feels good, don’t worry.”

“Okay.”

“You like my ass?”, Ricky asked softly, not really sure why he asked that, but for some reason he really wanted to know the answer.

“Oh god, Ricky, you have no idea. You have no idea how good you feel. You’re so perfect.”

Ricky let his head fall back on the bed again, looking EJ in the eye as EJ started to move for real now. Still, quite slow, but picking up when he noticed he could. Both boys were panting and moaning as they stared into each other’s eye, both enjoying this immensely. Sometimes, Ricky had to close his eyes for a second when he became a little overwhelmed, but it felt so good. EJ grasped Ricky’s hand and interlaced their fingers, placing both of their hands on the bed.

EJ kept on pushing and pulling his dick in and out of Ricky’s ass. He couldn’t believe how good this felt. He had had sex before, but never like this, never as good as this. Ricky’s ass was incredibly tight and oh so warm. It was like they were meant to be doing this. When he found Ricky’s spot, making Ricky moan louder than he head before and shoot up from the bed, he made sure to try to hit that spot with every thrust.

“Oh my god, EJ, feels so good. You feel so good”, Ricky was moaning.

“Oh, Ricky, Ricky, so good, soooo good’, EJ was moaning back.

Both of them got lost in each other’s movement, lost in feeling and the love and lust they felt for each other in that moment. EJ moving in and out of Ricky, Ricky pushing his hips down to meet EJ in the middle. Their sweat mixed where their bodies were moving together and rubbing against each other. Ricky’s free hand was scratching at EJ’s back and his other was squeezing EJ’s hand as hard as he could.

“Let’s change positions”, EJ said suddenly, feeling like it was time.

Ricky just nodded as EJ already pulled out. They both took a second to gasp and catch their breaths , before EJ grasped Ricky’s hips and turned him around until Ricky was on hands and knees. Placing one hand on Ricky’s hip, EJ used the other to guide himself inside again. Slowly at first, but both of them got lost in the moans as soon as EJ entered Ricky again. Now, EJ was fucking Ricky doggystyle, but he still used his hands to lovingly stroke all over Ricky’s body, everywhere he could reach. Ricky soon started thrusting his hips back again to meet EJ.

EJ moved his hand around Ricky’s body and closed his fist around his dick. He started stroking him in time with his thrust.

“Oh god, EJ, don’t stop, please, don’t stop”, Ricky moaned.

They moved together in sync as they slowly tried to reach their climax. EJ felt something twisting in his head and he sped up his thrusts and his stroking one final time, pushing Ricky over the edge. Ricky came with a cry spilling all over EJ’s hand and sheets. EJ pushed in and out a couple more times before he came as well. They both collapsed on the bed and on each other. Ricky lying on his stomach in his own cum, EJ lying on top of him, still inside Ricky. Both of them were panting loudly while they both slowly tried to regain their senses. EJ was stroking his thumb softly over Ricky’s shoulder as he tried to catch his breath.

About two minutes later, EJ pulled out of Ricky, who whimpered at the loss, and laid down next to him.

“That was… that was… that was wow… that was amazing, Ricky”, he said softly, still with heavy breathing.

Ricky turned his head and looked at EJ. He smiled brightly, but tiredly, giving his agreement. EJ smiled back at Ricky for a couple of seconds, before he got of the bed. He pulled off his condom and tied it together, then he walked to the bathroom. A few seconds later he came back with a towel. He carefully turned Ricky on his back and cleaned up the cum from his stomach and the sheets. Ricky just looked at him with a soft smile on his face, whispering a soft ‘thank you’ as EJ moved away again.

When EJ crawled back into his bed, he immediately cradled Ricky in his arms. He sighed contently as he felt the boy inside his arms. They were pressed close together, Ricky wiggled his butt against EJ’s groan for a second, giggling softly. Then both of their breathing started to slow down and soften. Both of them falling asleep. Right before they did, Ricky softly spoke up.

“You know, EJ, as far as first times go, this one was pretty perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've written a lot of RJ-centric chapters lately, but next chapter the general story should be picking up again, because oh right, they were still doing a musical. So, that story is finally continuing, but now that RJ relationship has kicked off (like, really kicked off), you can expect other graphic scenes in future chapters.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it took me a while to finish this next chapter. Something personal happened in my life which made me lose motivation and inspiration for a while. My schedule has cleared up considerably, so, I hope I can manage to write more the next couple of days and weeks. 
> 
> But anyway, for those of you who were waiting (if anyone haha), enjoy this next chapter! I hope you like it!

When Monday rolled around, Ricky was standing in front of the school, he had a nervous feeling. He didn’t really know why exactly. Sunday had been amazing, he had stayed over at EJ’s for the rest of the day. Just cuddling on the couch, watching some movies and talking to each other. It was a shame when his dad had called him and told him to come home. It had taken Ricky and EJ ten minutes to say goodbye to each other and even that hadn’t been enough. Ricky had never thought he could be so in love with someone else.

But now school had to start again, and they had to keep everything a secret. Nobody could know he and EJ were dating or it could have disastrous consequences if someone found out, especially for EJ. Of course, Ricky didn’t want EJ to get in trouble, but it was going to be hard for him to act like he didn’t feel anything for him at all. Ricky wondered how EJ would be able to handle it.

Inside the school, Ricky met up with Big Red in the hallway. His best friend was on his phone, but he put it away when he saw Ricky. They smiled at each other before they started walking to their first class together. Luckily, they shared it.

“How’s your weekend been?”, Big Red asked Ricky, just trying to have some small talk before they reached their class.

Ricky blushed a little, hoping Big Red wouldn’t notice.

“Oh, you know, nothing special. I slept in after the party and spent the rest of the weekend gaming and I even studied a little”, Ricky quickly made up.

“You didn’t want to game together?”, Big Red asked, there was a little bit of hurt in his voice.

“Oh, sorry, I don’t know, I kind of felt like being alone this weekend. Things have been… rough… at home and I just wasn’t in the mood for company, I guess.”

“Sorry, dude, I understand. What game did you play, though?”

Before Ricky could answer, they reached their class and Ricky quickly went inside using it as an excuse not to answer the question. He probably could have come up with a game, but still, the less he had to actually lie to his best friend the better. They had only just begun, and Ricky already felt guilty about lying to his friends.

EJ entered the teacher’s lounge and sat down at his usual spot. He looked around nervously at the other teacher. No one was giving him weird looks or anything. Why would they? Nobody knew what happened this weekend. How could they know? Just act normal, just act normal. EJ took a deep breath to calm himself down.

Out of his bag, EJ took the script for the musical as well as a pen. They had a rehearsal after school and EJ hadn’t had the time to prepare for it during the weekend. Some curly haired teenage boy had been to cause of that. EJ smiled when he thought back and went over their weekend together in his mind. He had never thought things could ever happen between Ricky and him and suddenly they were in a secret relationship. God, he loved that boy.

Right, preparing for the rehearsal. EJ shook his head to clear his mind and looked down at the script again. He had scribbled some notes on the scenes they had done last time. They were still on schedule. EJ checked said schedule to see which scenes they were supposed to be doing tonight. Right, okay, _Requiem_ -scene, he could handle working this much with Nini, right? But that also meant Ricky would have an easier rehearsal. Maybe he could switch around some scenes in his schedule? So, he had an excuse to work with Ricky?

Suddenly, Miss Evans came to sit down in front of him. EJ looked up at the maths teacher, a middle-aged woman with grey hair she wore in a bun.

“Hey EJ”, she greeted him warmly.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Miss Evans had been really nice to him when he had first started at the school, making sure he felt welcome after she saw how nervous he had been. Every now and then, she still came over to talk to EJ. EJ wouldn’t exactly call them friends, but he liked her and he was happy he had someone to talk to in the teacher’s lounge.

“How’s your weekend been?”, she asked smiling softly, making conversation.

EJ could hardly believe how fast he had gotten himself into the position where he had to start lying. He had known he needed to lie until the end of the year, but he had hoped to have had a little more time before he actually had to.

“Oh, you know, easy, nothing special.”

“No? You didn’t do anything special?”

EJ shook his head and just smiled at her. He pointed down to script lying in front of, implying that working on the musical was all he had been doing that weekend, while in reality he had been doing the main actor in said musical.

“How about yours? You did anything special?”

“Oh, my husband and I went away for the weekend to get some rest. He took me outside the city. It was really nice.”

“Sounds lovely, indeed”, EJ smiled at her.

“How about you? You got someone special in your life? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about someone before.”

EJ choked on his own spit for a second in surprise. He managed to keep his coughing to a minimum, pretending he just needed to clear his throat. It was like Miss Evans was out to get him, even though it clearly wasn’t on purpose.

“No, no one special in my life”, EJ said a couple of seconds later.

“Oh, well, too bad, I’m sure you’ll find him soon enough, though.”

EJ looked at her in shock. He had never told any of his new colleagues he was gay. How had she known? Miss Evans laughed at his shocked face and winked at him.

“Natural intuition”, she said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a class to teach. See you later, EJ.”

“See you”, EJ said his goodbye, looking after her as she took off, still with the surprise clearly visible on his face.

For a few seconds, he kept on staring at where his colleague had disappeared, vaguely noticing that the rest of the room was also clearing out and other teachers were leaving as well. Then, he looked back to his script, notes and schedule. What was he thinking about again? Right, which scenes to rehearse tonight. Maybe they could still do the _Requiem_ -scene first and then a scene with Ricky, that way he could maybe keep him a little longer afterwards. EJ got a big smile on his face. Yeah, that was a good idea.

The theater kids were chatting excitedly while they waited for Mister Caswell to arrive, for someone reason he was running a little late. Ricky was sitting in between Big Red and Gina, while he was looking at the door. He was only half participating in the conversation Gina and Big Red were having, just sometimes dropping in. The, finally, EJ walked through the door. Ricky immediately looked up and stared at him. When he looked away a couple of seconds later, he was Gina was throwing him a knowing look and a smirk. Ricky guessed Gina wasn’t as knowing as she thought anymore.

“Sorry, I’m late guys”, EJ apologized. “I ran into a colleague on the way here and we started talking. Anyway, today I want to do the _Requiem_ -scene first. So, I need Nini, Carlos and Kourtney on the scene.”

EJ walked to his seat, where he sat down and took out everything he needed. Meanwhile, Nini, Carlos and Kourtney got up from their seats and walked up the stage. They all looked expectantly at EJ.

“Right, okay, so, Nini, you’re in the middle on the couch that we don’t have yet. Carlos, on the right - my right, sorry - and Kourtney on the other side. Ricky, I mean Evan, just left your house after giving you the fake e-mails you think are real. Nini, as Zoë, you don’t want to mourn Connor’s death because of your complicated relationship. Carlos, as Larry, you are still in denial and very conflicted right now. And Kourtney, as Cynthia, you finally have something of your son again, so you feel like you have him back for a little. I want lots of emotions in this song, okay?”

The three of them nodded that they understood EJ. EJ nodded back at them.

“Okay, let’s try it for the first time. It’s okay if it isn’t what it’s supposed to be yet, but just do your best!”

EJ signed and the music started playing. Nini, Carlos and Kourtney tried to get into character. Nini being angry, Carlos being conflicted, and Kourtney was pretending her script where the e-mails from Connor, staring at them lovingly. Then, Nini kicked of the song.

Ricky tried paying attention to what was happening on the stage, especially since the three of them were killing it. But his eyes and thoughts kept on wondering back to EJ every time his attention had been on the stage for about twenty seconds. He was looking at EJ’s back, until Gina stomped her elbow in his ribs.

“Easy, Loverboy, someone might notice your crushing on the teacher”, she whispered with a laugh.

Oh, she had no idea. Ricky wasn’t only crushing on the teacher anymore, he was also sleeping with the teacher now. That escalated quickly, to say the least. In the meantime, the song finished and Nini, Carlos and Kourtney were looking at the EJ, waiting for what he thought. EJ was just scribbling his notes in his scripts, before he looked up.

“Okay, that wasn’t bad. That wasn’t bad at all, especially for the first time”, he complimented them. “Nini, I need more anger for you, I could hear you were trying, but I need more. I know it was the first time, so maybe you were also still focusing on the lyrics. Carlos, a little bit of the same, actually, more emotion that needs to come across. And then, Kourtney, I just heard you thinking about the lyrics a little too much, but once you completely know them by heart, I’m sure you’re going to absolutely slay this song. Furthermore, I think we need to make the visuals a little more interesting. I don’t know how yet, I’ll think about that”, EJ went over his notes, trying to sound as encouraging as possible, while still getting his point across.

Everyone just nodded, but they seemed happy their first time had gone so well. EJ gave them a five-minute break, before they tried again. This time they did even better than the first time and EJ was clearly happy with the results.

“Okay, great work, guys, we’ll come back to this scene later. Now, let’s do something else. Ah, maybe _Waving Through a Window_? Yes, let’s do that. So, Ricky, I need you center stage and the rest of the main cast stand-by and ready for the choreography.”

Ricky got up from his place and saw Gina and Big Red next to him doing the same thing in the corner of his eyes. He walked until he stood in the middle of the stage, he looked at EJ directly in front of him, just a few meters between them. They smiled at each other. Now that Ricky knew their feelings were mutual, he wasn’t as nervous to perform in front of EJ anymore, he hoped it would make his performance better. The other theater kids were standing at the sides to come on stage when it was their turn.

“Okay, Ricky, this is the main song of the musical, we get to know Evan better and the social anxiety he has. I need to see that anxiety in your performance, okay?”

Ricky nodded and closed his eyes for a second, before he could hear the music starting. He tried his absolute best for EJ and tried to add some tics in his performance here and there, but Ricky mostly lost himself in his singing and in the lyrics. He was once again reminded of his love for singing. Before he knew it, Nini was walking in front of him and he almost forgot to go after her.

_“Right, singing, acting, choreography, come on, Ricky, keep up, you got this”,_ Ricky thought to himself, mentally slapping himself for lacking.

EJ was staring at Ricky for the entire song, just captivated by the boy, how he moved, how he sang. They made it until the end of the song, Ricky standing alone in the middle again and the others at the edges of the stage. EJ had to shake his head to get back to reality, he looked down at his script and noticed he hadn’t written down anything at all.

_“Damn, focus, EJ_ ”, he told himself. _“Cute boys are for after the rehearsal.”_

He quickly wrote some stuff down on his sheets, or at least pretending to.

“Right, okay, that was good. Ricky, I know you have to do a lot in this scene, but try to keep up with the choreography, you fall behind sometimes. Your singing is amazing already, I don’t think I have any remarks on that. Lastly, I know this is a very difficult character to play, but I really need more social anxiety, more awkwardness, more tics. I’m sure you’ll get there, but we’ll need to work on that. Let’s take five and then go over it again.”

Ricky walked off the stage and took out a bottle of water from his backpack. He took a few large gulps from it, before putting it away again. He looked up and noticed EJ staring at him. He stared back and they shared a loving smile. Hopefully nobody saw them.

Gina came to stand next to Ricky and patted his shoulder.

“Well done”, she complimented him.

“I guess, needs more work, though”, Ricky shrugged his shoulders.

“I mean, yeah, but that’s normal, we’re only at the beginning, you’ll get there soon enough, I’m sure of it. You can always use your hot teacher as extra motivation to do better”, she winked at him.

Immediately, Ricky’s cheeks went red and he stammered a little. Gina laughed and patted him on his shoulder again before she walked away to talk to Ashlyn. Ricky stared after her for a second, then he looked back at EJ, who had managed to put his focus on his job again.

They went over the song and the choreography again. This time, Ricky managed to keep up with the choreography, which wasn’t even a hard choreography, he just had a lot to focus on. He was painfully aware of EJ looking at him the whole time, his eyes full of love and lust at the same time. Ricky looked back at him for as much as the song allowed him to.

“Okay, that was great, you guys. Ricky, better job on the choreography, but your acting in this scene still needs work. How about, the rest of you guys can leave early, and we work a little longer on it together?”, EJ suggested after the song was finished.

Ricky blushed, but shrugged his shoulder and nodded his head. The other let out of collective groan of relief, being tired already. Everyone quickly grabbed all their stuff together. Ricky’s friends came to say goodbye. Gina winked at him when she did.

Ashlyn also went to EJ, a look of concern in her eyes. She put her hand on his shoulder and turned him away from the others.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”, she asked her cousin.

“I can handle it, Ashlyn, don’t worry”, he reassured her.

He could more than handle being alone with Ricky. The others soon started leaving the room and going home, chatting to each other.

“I didn’t know teachers could be alone with students”, Big Red whispered a little to loudly to Nini.

Both of them laughed at his joke, before being the last ones to leave and closing the door behind them. Leaving Ricky and EJ alone. They immediately walked over to each other.

“Hey”, EJ said, while taking Ricky in his arms.

“Hi”, Ricky whispered back, closing his own arms around EJ.

“It’s weird, right, seeing each other but not getting to act on it?”

“Yeah, it is, but if it means we can be together, it’s worth it.”

EJ pulled back from the hug and smiled at Ricky lovingly. He nodded softly and ruffled his hand through Ricky’s curls.

“Yeah, it is.”

Ricky just smiled back at EJ with love in his eyes. They we’re only together for three days, so Ricky still had to get used to the idea. But oh, did he love that idea.

“So, now are we practicing or are we _practicing_?”, Ricky asked with a smirk on his face.

EJ raised an eyebrow at Ricky and got a cocky grin of his own on his face.

“Oh, we’re _practicing_ for sure”, he said before diving in and connecting their mouths together.

“That’s what I thought”, Ricky said between kisses and before letting EJ’s tongue inside his mouth.

_That’s what I thought._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I noticed I actually write very Ricky-centric and most of it is his POV and I don't really know why haha, since EJ is definitely my favourite character. Maybe Ricky is just easier to write, I don't know. 
> 
> Musical is back on track now! After the RJ-centric chapters, the rest of them are finally back!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am again! To those of you asking how I've been doing: first of all, thank you very much for asking. I'm not exactly okay yet, but I'm slowly becoming better. At least I think so haha. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I loved writing it!

Homecoming was coming and all of Ricky’s friends were so excited they couldn’t stop talking about it. Ricky, however, could not be less excited this time. He knew it was his last year and all, and that it was his last chance to go and everything, but he just didn’t feel it. He knew Big Red was going with Ashlyn and Carlos and Seb were going together, but Ricky knew he couldn’t go with the one person he wanted to go to Homecoming with. He couldn’t go with EJ.

They were all sitting in the cafeteria together. All the theater gang talking about Homecoming, while Ricky was just sitting between his friends silently. Ashlyn and Big Red were talking about how their outfits should match. Seb and Carlos seemed to be having the same conversation. Ricky turned to his left were Nini was sitting.

“Hey Nini, I was just wondering, could we maybe go together as friend to Homecoming? We could also ask Gina and Kourtney to go as a group, maybe”, Ricky asked her.

Nini turned her head as looked guilty at him. She knew how he had been feeling about Homecoming this year. Not to the full extent, of course, Ricky hadn’t told her he liked EJ and now he definitely wouldn’t. But she knew he had wanted to go to his last Homecoming with someone special and knew how bummed he was he wouldn’t be able to.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ricky. Uhm, Gina actually asked me to go with her. As in, as a date… But I’m sure we’ll see each other there and have a lot of fun together.”

“Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah, uhm, I’m happy for you”, Ricky tried to smile at her.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t sincere, he really was happy for her she could go with Gina, it was just that now he felt even more alone. Even though he wasn’t really alone.

“Yeah, I was so happy she asked me”, Nini smiled at her friend, but the look of concern was clearly visible in her eyes.

It was silent between them for a moment, neither of them really knowing what they had to say now. Ricky just nodded at Nini, trying to hide how he felt.

“You could still go with Kourtney as friends if you don’t want to go alone…”, Nini tried, breaking the silence between them.

“Nah, I like Kourtney, but just with her would be a little weird. We aren’t that close friends and, I don’t know, it would just be weird if it was just the two of us going together, I guess”, Ricky explained while shaking his head.

Nini nodded her head in understanding and threw another guilty look at her friend. She placed her hand on his shoulder and rubbed his shoulder for a few second to offer her support.

“I’m sorry, Ricky, I knew how badly you wanted to go with someone. I hope you still have a lovely evening. I’ll make sure we will still have a lot of fun together!”

“Thanks, Nini. I will come, don’t worry”, Ricky offered her his most sincere smile he could find right now.

Then Ricky was saved by the bell. He got up from his spot as quickly as he could, said goodbye to his friend and went to his next class. He actually was happy right now he had that class.

Unbeknownst to Ricky, Nini took out her phone behind Ricky’s back and made a group chat without Ricky in it. She started typing to all of their friends. She sent the message and on her face a smile started to appear as the reactions started coming in. Then, she put her phone away and quickly walked to her next class before she would be late. But she was sure her plan would work perfectly.

EJ was walking through the halls, sending students who were going to be late for class to their rooms. Everywhere there were posters for the Homecoming ball. EJ almost rolled his eyes at them. He remembered how he hadn’t even gone to his last Homecoming because his jerk of a boyfriend back then had been too afraid to go with him, ruining both of their nights. EJ still wanted to make up for that lost Homecoming, but he knew he couldn’t be doing about it, especially not in public with Ricky. How he wanted to be able to go with Ricky and make up for that Homecoming.

After the halls were empty, EJ returned to the teacher’s lounge and joined the teachers who didn’t have to teach that hour. He sat himself down next to Miss Evans. He smiled at her as he did so.

“Ah EJ, I’m glad to see you, I wanted to ask you something. We still have one spot open to chaperone during the Homecoming ball. Can I write down your name?”, she asked him as soon as he sat down, and he couldn’t easily escape anymore.

“Oh, uhm, yeah, sure. I’ll come chaperone”, EJ smiled at her.

“Great, thank you. You can bring someone if you want to, that way you won’t have to be alone all evening.”

“No, I’m fine. I’ll manage.”

“If you’re sure. Do you want to do the tickets? Or do you want to be inside at the dance itself? I’m the one dividing the spots, so I’ll grant you the privilege of a choice”, she winked at him.

EJ had to laugh at that and smiled at her. He didn’t have to think long about his answer. Ricky would be inside…

“Please, don’t put me at the tickets. I’d like to be inside.”

“I’ll see what I can do”, she winked again.

EJ smiled at her gratefully. He was sure she would put him inside now and he was happy that even though he wouldn’t be able to spend the night with Ricky the way he wanted to, they could still see each other there and probably talk to each other.

Between the break between classes, EJ was walking through the hallways again, searching for Ricky. He saw him standing with Nini, Gina and Big Red at his locker. He smiled before walking over to them.

“Ricky, could I speak to you in my office”, he said.

Ricky turned around at him and smiled softly, noticing the grin in EJ’s eyes.

“E-, uhm, Mister Caswell, sure, is it about the play?”

“Yes, there is something I would like to discuss with you.”

Ricky turned around to say bye to his friends, Gina smirked at him, which he ignored. Then he turned around again, and he followed EJ. EJ walked a couple of steps in front of Ricky to keep up appearances. Then he pulled Ricky inside his office and he closed the door behind them.

“Are you coming to Homecoming, tomorrow?”, EJ asked immediately.

“Yeah, probably. I wanted to go with you, of course, but I understand why we can’t do that.”

“Please come, I’m going to chaperone there. I know it won’t be the same, but we can still sort of be together there.”

Ricky smiled at EJ and nodded slowly. EJ smiled back at Ricky brightly. He stepped away from the door, where he had still been lingering. He walked over to his desk and leaned against it so he was still close to Ricky.

“We’ll make the best out of it, okay? I know it’s not what we wanted, but it’s something right?”

“Yeah, it’s something.”

“It’ll be alright”, EJ said before pulling Ricky closer.

“It’ll be alright”, EJ said again, before leaning in and softly kissing Ricky on the lips.

Ricky walked into the gym hall alone. The music was already playing loudly and there were already quite a lot of students dancing on the dance floor or drinking punch at the sides of the hall. He eyes immediately locked with EJ’s at the other side of the room. They smiled at each other all the way across. EJ was standing behind the punch table, sometimes handing someone a cup.

Ricky started walking over until he was suddenly pulled aside. When he turned his head, he was met with a very enthusiastic Nini who was smiling at him way too close to his face. Behind her, Gina looked at them with a soft smile.

“Ricky!! You made it!!”, Nini shouted at him, before stepping aside to let Gina greet Ricky, who did so a little less loudly.

“Are you drunk or something?”, Ricky asked Nini with a smile on his face.

“No, I’m not, I’m just excited to be at Homecoming with a pretty girl and my best friend!”, Nini responded.

Ricky raised his eyebrow at Gina, who just shrugged at him.

“As far as I know, she really didn’t drink any alcohol so far.”

Nini gasped in fake offence. It made all three of them laugh loudly. They were still laughing when they were joined by Ashlyn and Big Red. And a little later, Seb and Carlos also came over and they formed a big group. Kourtney was the last arrive.

Ricky tried his best to enjoy himself. The first part of the night was spent talking to all of his friends, which he really enjoyed. They talked about the musical and discussed other students’ outfits and the couples that turned up at the dance. But then all of his friends to dance together with their partner and Ricky was left standing alone.

Because he didn’t want to be alone, Ricky walked over to the table where EJ was standing. He had been wanting to come here all night anyway, so maybe it wasn’t so bad that his friends where dancing. EJ smiled at him warmly when he arrived.

“Can you help you with some punch?”, EJ asked him as soon as he was close enough.

“Yes, thank you, Mister Caswell”, Ricky tried to sound as formal as possible.

They laughed at each other, before EJ filled a cup with punch and handed it to Ricky. Ricky leaned against the table, careful not to knock over the cups that were standing on it. He took a sip of his drink, before looking at EJ again.

“So, how’s your night been?”, he asked.

EJ let out a dramatic sigh and overreacted by dramatically raising his hands.

“So terribly boring. I’ve been pouring drinks all night, while the cutest boy in the room has been standing far away from me with his friends.”

Ricky laughed at EJ’s answer. EJ looked back at him with a content smile on his face. He loved seeing Ricky laugh. They stood together talking for a while, about how their nights had been, about how they would’ve liked their nights to go. Every time another student came over, they quickly switched topic to the musical to make sure no one suspected anything.

The next hour or something, they were standing there talking to each other. They were both so happy they could still do this right now. It might not nearly be close enough to actually going to the dance together, but at least it was something. And they were together, that was all that mattered. Ricky had smiled more in the last ten minutes than he had when he had been talking to his friends. EJ’s smile also appeared to be glued to his face, but he did try to look like he was doing his job.

Suddenly, Ricky saw Gina going over to the DJ and whispering something in his ears. The DJ nodded and did something on his laptop. Ricky frowned, but assumed she was just asking for a specific song. But then he heard Nini yelling for him.

“Ricky?? Where is Ricky? Has anyone seen Ricky?”, she was yelling.

Then she was running over to him excitedly, Ricky just looked at her in confusion and let her run over to him instead of going to her. She finally reached him and grabbed his hand in hers.

“Oh, Ricky, here you are. Hello, Mister Caswell”, she greeted their teacher.

“Hey, Nini”, EJ nodded.

“Come on, Ricky, the song is about to start”, Nini said to Ricky, while she started pulling him to the dance floor.

It suddenly hit Ricky that he hadn’t even danced all night, but he was still so confused about what was going on. He let himself be pulled away by Nini, but looked back at EJ with a questioning look in his eyes. EJ just shrugged and smiled at Ricky.

“What’s happening, Nini?”, Ricky asked as they reached the middle of the dance floor.

He noticed how all of his friends were dancing close to where Nini had dragged him. Nini turned to face and placed her arms around him. The song changed and a slow and romantic song was suddenly coming out of the speakers. Nini started slow dancing with Ricky.

“I know how bummed you were that you couldn’t come with someone special. That’s why I messaged everyone to make sure you had someone to dance with tonight. So, tonight you are dancing with all of us”, Nini explained to Ricky, while they kept on dancing.

“Oh, thank you, that’s so sweet of you, guys”, Ricky thanked her.

They smiled at each other. Ricky looked over his shoulder for a second. His eyes locked with each other and they smiled at each other. He might not be dancing with EJ, the person he actually wanted to dance with, but this was still pretty special from his friends.

After he and Nini had danced for a while, she suddenly stepped away from him and Gina took her place. Ricky laughed as he now started dancing with Gina.

“Thank you”, he said to Gina, he was going to thank all of his friends tonight.

“You’re welcome”, she smiled back at him.

EJ was watching Ricky dancing from afar. He had quickly figured out what Ricky’s friends had been doing. He was so happy and grateful Ricky had such amazing friends like that. Maybe, after they had graduated, he could also become friends with them. Suddenly, he felt someone tap his shoulder. Ashlyn was standing there.

“Hey”, she said with a smile on her face.

“Hey”, he greeted her back.

“So, I know that just like Ricky, you have wanted to dance with someone tonight. Would you maybe want to dance with me? We’re cousins so we can actually dance together.”

“Oh, Ash, thank you”, EJ said softly.

“Of course, EJ.”

Just like Ricky, EJ started dancing with Ashlyn. He had the best cousin in the world. Sorry, to all the other cousins, but this wasn’t even a competition anymore.

Meanwhile, Ricky went through all of his friends to dance with. After Gina, he had danced with Big Red, then with Kourtney, next was Carlos. Now, he was dancing with Seb. The fourth slow song was playing now, other students were starting look weird at the DJ, who just shrugged. Ashlyn finished her dance with EJ and came over to Ricky to take the last spot.

It was the end of the dance and everyone was going home, no one was left in the building, all the students and all the teachers were gone, except for EJ who was pulling Ricky behind him through the dark hallway. Both of them of them were giggling. EJ kept on looking behind himself to look at Ricky, a look of love in his eyes. Ricky was just looking back at him with the softest look in his eyes.

“EJ, where are we going?”, Ricky asked while laughing softly.

“You’ll see”, EJ responded with a mysterious smile on his face.

They reached the auditorium and EJ pulled Ricky behind him inside. Together they ran over to the stage, hand in hand. EJ let Ricky’s hand go and walked until he stood in the middle of the stage. There was one spot shining softly, lighting the middle of the stage. EJ turned around at Ricky when he was standing in the middle of the circle of light. He had the biggest grin on his face. Ricky was looking at him from the side of the stage with a loving smile on his face.

EJ beckoned Ricky over with his finger. Ricky started walking over to EJ. As soon as Ricky reached the edge of the circle, EJ just quickly took the last steps between them. He placed both of his hands on Ricky’s cheeks and crushed their lips together. They kissed deeply for a few seconds before they both started giggling into the kisses and they had to break apart. They just stared into each other’s eyes for a moment.

“I know we couldn’t go to Homecoming together like we both really wanted to”, EJ started saying. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t do anything to make up for it.”

EJ reached inside his pocket and took out his phone. He pressed a button and _Revelation_ by Troye Sivan started playing. EJ took Ricky in his arms and slowly started rocking their bodies together.

“Let’s dance together. Let’s have this dance”, EJ whispered in Ricky’s ear while they started slow dancing together.

“Oh, EJ, thank you. This is wonderful”, Ricky whispered back.

EJ started softly singing the lyrics into Ricky’s ear. Ricky realized he had never heard EJ sing before, but it was absolutely beautiful. They danced together in each other’s arms, rubbing each other’s back while EJ softly kept on singing. Together they stood in the middle of the soft circle of light. Both of them were perfectly happy.

When the song ended, they pulled their heads back, but kept their arms around each other. Both of them leaned in at the same time. Their kiss was slow, but sweet, full of love. They kissed like they had all the time in the world.

“I’m so happy, EJ”, Ricky whispered against EJ’s lips.

“Me too, Ricky, me too”, EJ whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads-up. I'm leaving on an Erasmus in a couple of days, so I'm going to be studying abroad. I don't know yet how that's going to affect my writing speed, so it might be that my updating time will become longer again.


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